Seeking Souls
by sophiesix
Summary: What would it take for a Seeker to turn? Hungry Flame has a strong calling, even for a Seeker. But she also has a son. A human son. The chase for a wild human, Alex, forces her to confront what the future holds for her son and her Souls.
1. Chapter 1 Contact

**  
Contact  
**

We must have made a strange sight as we walked into the canyon, hands above our heads, alone. A Seeker, gun holster empty, eyes shining in the setting sun. And a boy, a human, keeping as close to me as he could. Bhaskar. My son.

I questioned myself for the thousandth time. Was I doing the right thing? But it was plain I could not keep him in the city forever. The older he grew, the more frightened they became. I could see that one day, with his dark soulless eyes, there would be an accident. But I could not have him implanted. My heart was pierced with pain at the thought. No, we could not live with the Souls.

So we had to seek out the humans.

I scanned the sides of the canyons. I thought about what Alex had said. How groups of people could not exist close to the cities, but how they would depend on them for supplies. I remember him laughing with saddened eyes about how, before settlement, they'd _complained_ about National Parks being surrounded by cities. But now they made the perfect retreats.

It would have to be large though, larger than the forests that hid Alex, with no watchful suburbs pressed against its borders. So it had to be south. Bhaskar and I had travelled south, searching out likely places, listening for stories of missing food, disappearing souls, sightings. No one thought that strange of a Seeker. It was, after all, my job.

And now, here we were, walking into the lion's den.

"What if they're not here?" Bhaskar whispered to my back.

"They're here," I replied, "can't you feel them watching us?" We walked on deeper into the canyon.

"What if they won't talk to us? What if they let us keep walking?"

"They'll want to talk to you," I said, "We'll make them talk to us." Did I ask for too much? I wanted everything for him – love, security, happiness – what mother did not? But on this world, nothing could be taken for granted.

A shot rang out on the canyon walls, and a pile of rocks clattered to the ground near my head.

"Mum!" Bhaskar shouted, leaping into my arms, burying his face in my shoulder. I held him with one arm and kept the other in the air. I slowly turned around on the spot, holding my breath. I heard a gun click amongst the boulders of the canyon wall. I froze.

"Let the boy go," said a gruff, terse voice.

"Mum, no!" Bhaskar shouted, gripping my shoulders in a death grip. His breath came in sobs that shook his body. I shushed him softly, kissing his forehead.

"I'm afraid it's not as easy as that." I said, trying to keep the fear from my voice. "I'm not here to hurt anyone. I just want to talk." My words reminded me of Alex, and I smiled shortly at the memory.

"Put down your gun!" the voice commanded.

"I don't have it on me," I called to the blind rockface, "I left it in the car." I bit my lip. Was that a mistake? But I did not want weapons on me here. Not with Bhaskar around.

"Don't move," said the voice, sounding closer now. The dusk was deepening around me and I never saw the two people approaching until they had grabbed my wrists and secured them tight behind my back. Bhaskar was shrieking and grabbing at me as others tried to pull him away. I fought panic not to be able to comfort him.

"Bhask, honey, Bhask it's ok, Bhask please-" My breath caught in my throat as I felt a gun muzzle pressed into my back. Bhaskar bit one of the hands that caught at him and attached himself limpet-like to my waist. I ignored the gun and leant down to him, trying desperately to soothe him. A voice sighed impatiently behind me.

"Looks like you're coming with us," the gruff voice said with a grudging note of resignation.

I was surprised at the mix of roughness and sophistication at their camp. Solar panels powered a television, a GPS, a laptop, next to grubby half-naked children sprawling in the dust. Bhaskar refused to have anything to do with them, and would not let me out of his touch.

I had learned that the gruff voice belong to a man who was called Boss by the others. He sat in folding chair opposite me, frowning, running his fingers over my gun. Bhaskar slept curled beneath my feet. They had found the car hidden where I had told them, filled with supplies I thought they might need, and as the days passed their expectation of a full scale attack had dwindled. The knee jerk reaction phase was over. Now the future reared its ugly head.

"We don't have a problem with the boy," Boss grumbled, "But you..." he shook his head. "We cannot live with an alien amongst us." I could see the strain this conversation – this whole situation – was having on him.

"I must admit," I whispered, "I thought you might feel like that. I had… I had thought of leaving him," I stole a glance at the body at my feet, but it made no move, "But now…" I shook my head. My forehead felt permanently creased with worry. I shifted uncomfortable in my bonds. He sighed.

"What do you suggest."

"I could help you. That food in the truck, it's easy for me to get. Medicines, clothing…" I tried to keep my voice measured and reasonable.

"You mean go on raids," Boss said, shaking his head, thinning his lips, "We could not trust you."

"I have come here with only the truth – "

"You are a Seeker!" He spat.

"I have not tried to hide that fact," I stressed, wishing he'd meet my eyes, "I have not hidden anything from you…" But I knew it was a moot point. I could not talk them into trusting a Seeker.

"I would have all the reason in the world to keep you safe! My son, I couldn't endanger him, you must understand-"

"You would leave him here as collateral?"

I bit my lip, not having really thought this far.

"Well it would be too dangerous for him on raids-"

"_No_!" shouted a determined voice at my feet, and suddenly Bhaskar was clinging vice-like to me. "Don't leave me Mum, please don't leave me!" he whispered fiercely. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away from Boss, longing to hold my boy in my arms. Boss threw up his arms in exasperation.

"May I suggest a trial period, a week," I said desperately, "Let everyone get used to the idea, talk about it..." including me I thought, doubt looming cavernous inside me. "You've got enough supplies for a little while," I guessed, "Just, just give it a week." My eyes pleaded with him over Bhaskar's shoulder. Boss let out a breath.

"Fine," he said, getting to his feet, "a week".

The week passed slowly. I was kept tied except for meals and washing, though Bhaskar was free to come and go. He didn't though, he stuck to me like glue.

"Why do we have to stay here, mum?" he asked me in a small voice.

"These are your people," I tried to reason with him, "It will be better here-"

"They are nothing like me!" he countered, "They're horrible! They don't even _like_ us!" he turned away from me, and my heart broke again.

Most of the people were out planting when the news report came on. A wild human captured in the northern forests. The few humans in earshot gathered around, watching with dread. I crept as close as my rope would let me; the pictures showed forests looking like those around our old town. I shook my head unconsciously, scanning every picture on the screen. A familiar skyline. A recognisable mountain.

"Oh God," I whispered, stomach plummeting, "Alex!" A picture of him, bound and haggard, flashed onto the screen, and seared into my memory.

"Bhaskar!" I hissed, urgently, quietly, "Honey, we need to get out of here." His face was instantly alert and focused.

"I need you to find me something to cut these ropes with, ok?" He nodded and was gone. I eased back close to the canyon wall, slipping into the shadows to wait, thoughts racing through my mind. Bhask was back quickly, easing past people with his head down, hiding a knife in his sleeve. But everyone had eyes only for the television. I bit on my lips while he sawed at the ropes. _Surely_ someone would look. Surely someone would notice. But in a week, I had become no more worthy of notice than a rock; something to avoid stubbing your toe on.

It seemed to take hours, but then, I was free. I grabbed Bhask's hand with aching arms and slipped through the shadows along the wall, watching every face one after the other in succession, praying against hope they wouldn't look. And they didn't look. And we were passed them. And then we were racing down the canyon, hearts beating in our throats.

And then we saw Boss. Our Glock loose in his hands, his eyes staring at us in shock. Setting my jaw, I dropped Bhaskar's hand and ran straight for Boss, running into him hard. He hit the ground with a grunt and I kicked the gun away from him and scooped it up. Exhilaration flooded my body, I was giddy with hope. I heard Boss roar and yelled over my shoulder.

"Sorry Boss, trial week is over, it wasn't working out," I gasped past inane giggles, "Thank you all for having us!" Bhaskar's eyes met mine, both alive with glee as we flew out of the canyon. The car was exactly where we had left it, and it started first time.

We had been driving north as fast as we dared for over a day, but we were both exhausted and finally pulled into a motel. I was happy for the first time in years to be with my own kind. Thunderheads reared over the town as I got out of the car and booked the room, but the sunlight still streamed between them. We collapsed onto our clean, soft, air-conditioned bed in our own private room. Bhaskar was asleep as soon as he was horizontal, his face so happy and relaxed I could cry. My own worries etched my face, but could not keep me from sleep. As I relaxed into the quilt, my thoughts drifted back to when I met Alex for the first time…


	2. Chapter 2: Hunted

**Hunted**

*******

My boot finally stepped onto to the summit, and I stretched, easing the burning in my calves. Leaning my back against a tree, I rested the heat-vision goggles on my sweaty brow and scanned the scenery carefully, moving the goggles in tight patterns to cover everything. Nothing. The wilderness area seemed just that – a wilderness. Human-free. I eased the holster on my hips and sat, pulling some nut bars out of my pack while I swigged my water. Munching, I gazed around me, but my speculation was internal. I had been tracking this human for days now, only ever finding vague clues that he might be here. I felt almost equal tugs to return home and to keep going. Bhaskar was at home, fretting the longer I stayed away, just as my heart fretted to be away from him. But my calling was a strong one, and I couldn't shake the strange feeling that I was close. _So close, but so far, _the human saying ran through my head. I smiled and thought about what to do differently. The humans left these days were a wily bunch, never easily caught unless by some mistake. If there really was a wild human here, he must be watching me to be avoiding me so carefully. I felt my neck hairs prickle at the thought. He must be nearby then. He was tied to me like a moth to a flame. I laughed softly at the strange appropriateness of the thought. I wandered if he thought me strange, a lone seeker in the woods for so long. But then I was never really alone, I thought, rubbing the pendant at my neck. I furrowed my brow to concentrate. The days had set into a routine, searching patterns during the day, striking camp at sunset, resting at night. It was a search for passive clues, passive prey. This quarry was anything but passive. It wouldn't have been hard to avoid me. I needed to break my routine, catch him out.

Slipping the pack straps back into their familiar sweat stained ache on my shoulders, I set off back down the hill. The light was getting longer, but I had seen a place between two hills that could hide a gully. It was too small to show on the map, but if it had two openings, it would suit my needs perfectly. It was past dusk when I reached it, the sides of the hills on either side dropping so steeply there were almost cliffs. The dirt had long since been washed away and left the boulders almost bare. These rough walls enclosed a long narrow valley, and I could just see the gray of leaves from the forest at the other end. I set up camp inside the valley, the small tent, a gas stove, a tarp over my pack. The human would have to be on the hillside above to keep an eye on me here. He would not know which exit I would use in the morning, so he would have to stay and watch. There was no cover to hide a body from the heat vision goggles. I was careful to keep my movements relaxed, not scan the hillside, just like it was any other night. I ate, cleaned up, turned off the stove, got into the tent, and turned off the last light.

In the valley the darkness was absolute. I lay still, listening. The goggles had been strapped to my head for hours, setting up a dull ache that grew as the night lengthened. I would need to change position, get another angle to see around the boulders, scan the other hillside, but I needed to wait until I was sure he was asleep. Unfortunately, that meant waiting til an hour when my body was screaming for sleep too. I wished I had brought some No Sleep.

I must have dozed off, for my head felt sluggish when the lens of the goggles lit up with flaming red and yellow light. I fought the urge to gasp: he was in front of my tent. I lay frozen, fear waking my body fast but training keeping it still. He was tall, lean but muscular, his shoulders the heavy bulk of a fully grown adult. Somewhere I felt a familiar thrill to see a wild human in all its glory. He raised an arm slowly, muscle flexed, and my thrill turned to horror. He had a weapon, which the heat vision goggles didn't pick up. He was trying to kill me! I leapt to my feet, throwing off the tarp as his arm brought the weapon down with force and struck the pack lying in my tent. I ripped my goggles off and shone a light on him, torch in one hand, gun in the other. He spun around, confused, tensed like a wild cat. His hair was a dark brown, longer than neat but not wild. His beard too was surprisingly trim. I kept the light on his eyes, wary but faintly triumphant. I had him, I finally had him! Then in a split second he rushed me, knocking the gun out of my hands, grabbing for the torch. I heard him grunt in pain as I twisted the torch sharply, pulling it from his grip. I lashed out at him, my boot connecting hard with his shinbone, the torch hitting his cheek bone and then snapping back. The light flickered as he stepped back, and I dropped it so light trapped him in its beam. I kept coming, throwing a punch with my right, whilst my left reached to grab his wrist. But he was quicker, catching my punch, swerving around and twisting my arms behind my back.

"You Souls," he hissed in my ear, "all the same; hopeless in attack!" I bridled in fury, and pain shot through my shoulder blades. He held my wrists in one had whilst the other felt for my neck.

"But _excellent _in self-defence" I hissed back, slamming my heel into his foot and the back of my skull into his face. He grunted, and his gripped loosened enough for me to lever one arm out of his grasp, grab his wrist and twist his arm til he released the other. I skipped a few steps away, breathing heavily, trying to roll the ache out my shoulders. And he was gone, nothing but footsteps crashing into the undergrowth. I swore, grabbed the torch and followed. He was fast, but while he was running he was loud and easy to follow. The sound stopped and I ran faster, scanning with the torch for his hiding place, reaching for my heat vision goggles, and so never saw the fist that blindsided me as I ran past a tree. Pain shone like a star through the side of my head, and I staggered, dropping the torch. But I kept to my feet and managed to pull on the goggles. His shining form leapt out from the surrounding darkness in the lens, half crouched and ready to spring.

"Attack is the best form of defence, hey?" I said, facing him, vying for time, trying desperately to focus through a cloud of pain. A small glowing red blob raced into my field of vision and I snapped a glance at it on instinct. A squirrel streaking up a tree. A split second distraction, but he was gone again, sprinting like wildfire through the inky black. Letting out a small groan of frustration, I ran after him, following easily with goggles, trusting my feet to find their own way on the forest floor. I couldn't let this chance escape, or I knew I would never find him again, but I had no idea how to capture him without my gun. He outmatched me physically, I could never hope to bring him down on my own. He knew the terrain, the area, the hidey-holes, cliffs, rivers and streams. I knew them vaguely from my past week of wanderings, but I was running blindly into the dark, I had no idea where I was. A thin finger of panic began to spread in me. I gritted my teeth and ran on, keeping his heat vision signal a constant firey blob on my eyes.

Then I slowed, panting for air, hearing my breathing coming raggedly in and out. A small vial of No Pain I kept in my pocket was soon emptied down my throat as I waited. I let the signal get as small as I dared, and then followed soundlessly.

He ran on and on then turned sharply right. He must have hit the river. I could smell the moisture in the air and then faintly hear its whispering. He slowed, and I stood still, not daring to make a sound to let him know he was still followed. I could imagine him scanning the dark forest by the moonlight reflecting from the water, straining to hear past the roar of his breath into his lungs. Then he had set off again, in a jog trot, the signal keeping to the river's edge. I followed, parallel, but keeping deep inside the forest, as silently as I could.

The river turned in pendulous arcs back and forth, creating little sandy bays where the trees grew to the waters edge, shading the beach from the faint moonlight. At length he stopped in one of these, crouching down, and my throat burned to think of the cool water slipping down. I ignored it and crept closer, but let him drink, catch his breath, drain the adrenaline, relax. But he did not stop long, padding along the silver river's edge where the going was easy, but never low enough to leave a mark on the softer ground. He was putting as much distance as he could between us. He was careful, and I could understand why he had survived so long. He followed the river up deeper into the wilderness for hours, and I began to worry that dawn would break before he paused again. With daylight I could not hope to follow so closely without being seen. But finally his signal cut deeper into the forest and then stopped, curled on the ground like an animal. I crept closer, reminding myself to breathe. He would be tired, he might go to sleep, if I could tie his wrists somehow… I untied the bandana from my neck and twisted it into a rope. The heat signal from his body cooled slowly in the night air, changing from a burning white to yellow, then orange. An ember dying in the night. The smell of the tree sap seeped back into my consciousness, and the night sounds, the gentle wind smoothing the branches against each other, the insects keening softly. I held my breath when I was just steps away from his body, took one more careful step, and crouched down by his rounded back. I bent my finger and forced the knuckle hard into his back.

"Freeze!" I said, keeping my voice low and calm, "I have a gun in your back and I will shoot." I gasped as his back twisted suddenly, jerking me off balance as it trapped my hand beneath him. The heel of his hand hit my forehead, but the goggles made the blow glancing. I ripped my hand out from under him and we both sprang to our feet.

"Geez, don't you ever give _up_?" he panted. I opened my mouth to reply and he made a dash for the river. Hot in pursuit, through the goggles I could see him switch left and crouch, and I dived after him. But his reach was longer, grabbing my shoulders and throwing me past him. I had latched my fist onto his cuff, and I pulled him with me as I landed with a splash in the shallows. My feet slipped on the sand as I tried to stand and his hands found my head and pushed me under. The cold water bit into my cuts as I twisted frantically until his hands were left holding nothing but the goggles. I pushed away from him desperately, and found myself in deeper water, my toes skimming the top of the river bed. I surfaced swimming, gasping, the world without the goggles bathed in moonlight. His now silver form leapt after me, stroking strongly through the water, then his hands grabbed me again and pushed me under again. This time I was prepared and pivoted quickly in his grasp, kicking him square in the solar plexus. His hands went limp and I surfaced, treading water and watching him struggle to breath. Was it an act? The humans were good at deception. But when his mouth dipped below the waves for a third time, and his jerky swimming slowed, I swam to him, grabbing, pulled him onto my hip in a lifesavers hold, and made for the shore.

We had drifted into the centre of the river, where the current had carried us swiftly. It seemed to take forever to reach the shore, and fatigue dragging at my limbs. I was exhausted when my feet finally grated on the sand. I pulled him half out of the water, checked he was breathing, then collapsed on my back beside him, my lungs burning.

The light of dawn warmed the silver world to tones of honey and amber. Still we lay on the beach, letting the river play around our feet, feeling the grit of the sand beneath our hair and the welcome air cycle in and out of our lungs.

"You can't keep this up forever," he finally said, his voice hoarse and breathless still.

"Neither can you," I countered, my voice equal to his.

"Alright, _we_ can't keep it up forever," he said. Was there a hint of a smile in his voice? I used precious energy to turn and look at him, and my neck ached in protest. His eyes were closed; the skin around them had the lines of someone who had smiled a lot, once, but he was not smiling now. I turned back to face the sky, easing the aching pain in my neck. I too closed my eyes.

"What are you going to do anyway? You can't carry me back by yourself," he said.

"I'll get help," I said.

"What, and leave me tied up here? I might not be alone here you know-"

"No, you're alone." I said, certainty shining from my voice. He was silent, and I stole a look at the hurt this truth wrote on his face. Why did I feel bad for telling him the truth? But he was right. And the thought of dragging him back kicking and screaming was completely beyond me just as this present moment.

Just then a hand was at my neck. I screamed hoarsely, my hands and feet digging through the sand to get out of reach. His hand closed on my pendant and it broke away from my neck. I flew at him to get it back but he held me off easily.

"Give it back!" I shrieked.

"What is it?" he demanded, "You never take it off. Is it how you communicate with the others?" His hand tensed around it as if to crush it.

"No!" I gasped, panicked at the thought of him destroying it. Tears streamed down my face. "Give it back!" I pleaded.

"Tell me," he said, "what it is." his voice low and calm, reasonable, his fingers searching its surface for secrets. My mind whirled but my eyes never left it. I could not stop the tears.

"It's…" I started, but every cell of my body fought me. No use, no use, he mustn't destroy it. "It's a body". The words dragged from my lips through my teeth. His lip curled in revulsion.

"Your last body?" he spat in disgust, "you still keep it prisoner?"

"No," I whispered, then finally "the body of a soul," I closed my eyes and let the tears flow. "My mate." I felt broken inside as if it were yesterday. I could hear his surprised silence.

"Please, give him back to me," I whispered. He was quiet for some time.

"No," his voice was hard. I felt my stomach drop in despair. I opened my eyes, and saw his face watching mine, a strange expression shaping it. "Not yet." He grabbed my arm, and twisted it behind me, grinding my cheek into the sand. I tried to steady my thoughts, gather myself to resist. He sat on my back and searched me with one hand, emptying my pockets. There was not much; a spare nut bar, a compass, soggy tissues, and a damp photo. I bit my lip, as he tugged it free from the cloth pocket. A moment's silence, then his voice was husky and careful.

"What is this?" he growled. I could not answer but with the truth.

"Me and my son."

His eyes had already acknowledged the similarity. The same thick dark hair, dark eyes, the same defiant chin.

"But he's human," he said, his hand still pushing my arm into its painful twist.

"Yes." I twisted into his grip and kicked at his back, bucking free of him. He let me go, staring at the photo. I crabbed away, rubbing the pain from my shoulder, my eyes searching hungrily for my pendant.

"But he's too old" he said, "Why haven't you had him inserted?"

I paused, never knowing how to answer this.

"Because I don't want to," I said slowly, grudgingly, "I like him… as he is. I don't want to…lose that for…" I took a deep breath. "He doesn't need a Soul. He, he has a human soul."

He considered this.

"Take me to him," he said.

"No!"

"You want this back?"

"You're crazy!"

"I don't want to hurt him. He's one of us. Human. I just want to… speak to him. Let me meet him, and I'll give you this back." He dangled the pendant out of my reach. I gritted my teeth. This was not worth it. Not Bhaskar. But another voice inside my head kept me quiet. He would let me lead him into the city. Do not ruin this opportunity. I ground my teeth.

"Alright."


	3. Chapter 3 Caught

**Caught**

***

He said nothing as he led me back to camp. I folded the tarp and went into the tent to get my pack. My stomach dropped to see a sharpened stick pinning the sleeping bag to it. I fingered a thread bracelet Bhaskar had made for me at school one day.

"I'm not doing it" I said firmly, standing in front of the tent. He slowly drew my Glock from his waistband and pointed it at my chest.

"Take me to see the boy or I'll shoot you here." His face frowned, but was determined, stoney. I felt the sweat beading on my brow. I closed my eyes, drumming my fingers on my thigh. I reasoned with myself.

_Ok_

Ok think about this

_He shoots you here…_

He doesn't find Bhaskar.

_Okay_

And then?

_And then…_

Bhaskar is alone…

_He'll be…_

He'll be implanted

_He'll be implanted_

No

His voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Look, I don't want to hurt him. I know you… care about him. He's one of us. You shouldn't keep him from his people."

"_One of you_?! He's nothing like you! You're a savage!"

"Oh come on, a savage who- "

"You sought out my camp and tried to kill me!"

"And what exactly is it that you think you're doing to me?" he asked. This man was infuriating.

"That is completely different! _We_ are trying to improve you. This whole planet!"

"Oh you are so stuck up!" he muttered. We glared at each other.

"Why aren't you trying to 'improve' the boy then?" he asked quietly, his eyes watchful. I gritted my teeth.

"He doesn't need improvement." _I do not like this man_, I thought fiercely.

"Well anyway, it doesn't look like you've got much choice, does it," he said gruffly, "Let's eat something before we get on the road, I'm starving." He waved me over to the stove with the gun before sliding it into his waistband and opening a food packet. I resentfully cooked the meal and we ate in stony silence.

***

My head _ached_ and my eyes burned with fatigue by the time we'd hiked out to the car. The adrenaline had seeped out of my system leaving me gutted. The human motioned for me to drive. I started the car.

"Well, you know all about me. What about you?" I said, swallowing resentment.

"What about me?" his tone was guarded.

"What's your story?" I tried again.

"There is no story. What you see is what you get. That's it." I glanced at him, but he was looking out his window, and I couldn't see his face.

"Well, what's your name?"

"Alex," he said easily. The easiness of his tone made me immediately suspect a lie.

"Alex, like the talking parrot," I muttered.

"What?"

"I have read your history, you know. Your people trained a parrot to talk. His name was Alex." I sighed in disgust. "Really, it's no wonder you were all at each other's throats, you didn't know the slightest thing about each other." He raised his eyebrows.

"What's _your_ name?" he asked.

"Hungry Flame," I replied. He gave a short laugh.

"I like that. It's you – direct. Long though. Can I call you Flame?"

"I suppose." I said wearily. Most people did. They found my full name… discomforting.

"Does that mean you were on another planet?"

"Yes," I said, staring at the road and willing him to leave it at that.

"Why did you leave it? Why did you come here?"

I sighed and paused for a moment before answering.

"I didn't want to stay there after my mate died." I said finally, "This planet was as far away as you could get." Why was I telling him this? I hadn't told anyone this.

"Oh, "he said after a moment, "I'm sorry." I wondered that this savage was sorry for my grief.

"Can you tell me how he… died?" he asked softly.

"No," I said, wiping at my eye and glaring harder at the road. He was silent for a while.

"What was his name?" he asked. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I shouldn't-"

"Icefire," I said. He said nothing.

"Were you a Seeker there too?" he asked.

"Of course, it's what I do."

"What do Seekers do when there's no more savages to hunt?" he asked, irony weighting his words.

"Solve problems, search for lost people, keep the peace…" I noticed him grinning from the corner of my eye and paused.

"You're the police," he said, his eyes twinkling, "that would have been your job if you'd been human, you know, before…" I frowned, comparing my job to what I knew of Police before settlement. I saw little resemblance.

"Will they let you, bring your boy up, you know, human?"

It was a question that had gnawed at me for years.

"I don't know" I whispered, "People aren't… comfortable with him." I knew in my heart that Souls were essentially kind. So part of me could not understand why they treated him this way. The other part had seen firsthand how frightening humans could be. That part understood all too well.

"They're afraid of him," Alex said.

"People can change," I replied.

"Yeah? Are they? Or is it getting worse the older he gets?" I felt anger searing through me and pulled the car over in a clearing, my head throbbing so hard I couldn't think. I jerked out of the car and walked up and down, rubbing my head with one hand whilst the other balled into a fist. The worst part of it was the truth of his words, and that this fear fueled my anger. He got out slowly, leaned on the bonnet, watching me.

"He's not like you!" I finally shouted, "You are violent, aggressive, _cruel._"

"You've been matching me blow for blow so far," he said.

"You kill people-"

"So do you. You hunt them down and erase them. We didn't invade the planet."

"You not only kill us, you kill each other! Whole species you have destroyed! We came here to change that."

"By wiping us out," he said. My head throbbed so badly my vision was peppered with spots.

"No," I panted, "_You _kill. _We_ have to find you to improve you. If you didn't kill, we wouldn't have to hunt you down. Oh!" My hand clutched at my head. My vision went grey.

"Flame?" I heard faintly, as the ground rushed up and hit me with darkness.

***

I came to in the car, my cheek feeling the fuzz of the head rest. I turned my head slowly, trying to focus on the view outside the windows, but it did not make sense.

"Flame? How are you doing?" Alex whispered, hunched up in the driver's seat. I frowned at him.

"Where am I?" I murmured.

"Outside the hospital. I can't… I can't take you in," he replied. I pressed my palm to my head and groaned. My brain felt bruised.

"Where's Bhaskar?" I murmured.

"Your son? I don't know. I took you straight here. I've been waiting for you to wake up." His eyes watched me anxiously. I frowned and massaged my forehead.

"I'm fine. Let's go."

"You need to see a doctor. I could have fractured your skull."

"Later. I want to see Bhaskar first."

"Look he's fine. I've no idea where he is. But you need to get that head looked at."

My frowning wasn't keeping the growing headache under control. I made a small nod.

"Kay." I staggered out of the car, turned, and stared at him. "But you stay here." He grinned at me, leaned forward, and pulled the door shut. He lay down in the rear footwell and was all but invisible. I turned to the emergency room.

Six hours later I was back. The slam of the car door woke Alex.

"You're back?" he said groggily.

"I'm fine." I replied, "I have a lovely x-ray and a great anecdote for dinner parties."

"It wasn't broken?"

"Oh, it was broken. But it's fixed now. The doctors were amazed I had managed to drive myself back." I smiled at him ruefully in the rearview mirror. I wondered if I should really be driving on this much No Pain. I began to hum.

My pleasant mood faded as I drew up outside my house. I kept the engine idling. Why wasn't I driving to Seeker Headquarters? He may have saved my life driving me to the hospital, but before that he had fractured my skull, tried to drown me, and pulled a gun on me. _My_ gun. I could lock all the doors at the flick of a switch and drive, drive. But I knew the Glock would come out again, maybe pressed slowly into my neck… Never had I hated that gun so much as now.

"Your kid, what's his name again?"

"Bhaskar," I said. He groaned.

"Bus-car?"

"Close enough."

"_Man_. Did you come up with that yourself? You people have the craziest names" Said a man named after a parrot, I thought to myself.

"Just until we find a more appropriate one," I replied, trying not to sound defensive.

He watched me for a moment.

"Where is his father?" he asked. I shifted in my seat.

"I don't know. The body was already pregnant when I was inserted. Very early pregnancy, they hadn't picked it up yet."

"But surely you have the memories…"

"No," I sighed softly, "No memories at all." This had always seemed cruel to me, that one of the few Souls to be bringing up a human child should also be one of the few with no connections to humans at all. No memories of human childhoods, friends, relatives, to guide me. And the only human around to ask still a tiny baby in my arms. Alex looked at me, uncomprehending.

"The body was … badly damaged. Close to death. By the time I was inserted, there was no one there at all. Like an empty shell." I wandered why this still made me feel lonely. Perhaps it was just dredging up feelings from when I first came here, without Icefire. I took a slow breath, swiping at my eyes. I would not cry in front of this man again today. A flash of silver and a small weight landed in my lap.

"Here," he said. My pendant. I feasted my eyes on it, keeping my face impassive, then tied it firmly round my neck. Icefire's words flowed through my thoughts: _We will never be apart_.

Alex's sigh from the back seat broke my thoughts and I tensed.

"I don't want to hurt you. You are the only thing that's kept him human," He stared out the window towards the house. I steeled myself and drove the car into the garage.


	4. Chapter 4 Homecoming

**Homecoming**

The house was darkened by shutters on every window, steeping the room in an orange twilight.

"Mum!" the boy ran to me and I knelt to meet him, wrapping him in my arms and holding him close.

"Hey you," I murmured into his head.

"You've been gone _forever_! We need more cheese." His fingers played absently in my hair.

"We ran out of cheese?"

He squirmed a little in my arms. "Well I did stay with the Sings' for two nights, but then I got into a fight with Paulie and they started looking at me funny, so then I told them you'd come home early and I went to the McClintocks, but they were weird right from the beginning, so I came back here to wait for you."

"Oh Bhask! You've been here on your own?" My eyes swept over the empty cans in the sink, bread crumbs on the counters, wrappers in the overflowing bin.

"Oh Baby," I whispered, feeling my jaw tense.

"Who's this?" Bhaskar asked, turning to look at Alex, who stood frozen in the doorway, gazing at him.

"This is Alex," I said, my hands on Bhask's shoulders, trying not to grip too tight.

"Hi eyes are like mine!" Bhask said, fascinated.

"Yes, he's human," I said, "a wild human." Bhaskar slipped behind me slightly, but couldn't take his eyes off Alex. Alex was clearly equally fascinated. I was willing to bet he'd never met a Soul-born human before.

"Wild humans are dangerous," Bhask said, doubt in his voice. Doubt at his words, or fear of Alex?

"Yes," I said trying to find the line between caution and fear, "But Alex won't hurt you." I prayed I was speaking the truth. Overcome by curiosity, Bhask evaded my grasp and walked up to Alex slowly, head cocked, inspection in full swing.

"Hello," said Alex, and his voice was strange.

"Where do you live?" asked Bhask.

"Uh… In the forest."

"In the wilds? Like a wild thing?"

"I guess," Alex frowned, but his eyes were amused.

"Do you eat Souls?"

Alex coughed out a laugh. "No."

"Not even the mean ones?"

"No." Alex was smiling despite himself.

"Then what do you eat?"

"Uh…" he shrugged, "berries, soup, chips…"

Bhaskar processed this. "Mum, we need cheese," he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the garage.

* * *

After dinner, Bhaskar fell asleep on my lap on the sofa. He had talked to Alex constantly, through dinner and afterwards. And Alex had kept up with him the whole time, talking naturally, _without fear_. Bhask hadn't talked to anyone like that in years. Apart from me. The only thing that finally stopped him was unconsciousness. I stroked his hair softly, watching him sleep. Alex sat on the other sofa, one arm lying along the tops of the cushions.

"So, what now?" I asked finally, terribly conscious of my Glock in his possession. He had kept it hidden since coming into the house, but until it was in my holster I couldn't relax. He put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. He shook his head.

"I don't know" he said, his voice uncertain. My eyes widened. He let out a breath.

"I must admit, I was planning on getting him out of here, away from the city…" a sharp pain tore at my chest.

"Away from me," I said.

"Yes," he whispered, "But now…" he shook his head again, grimacing. I waited, not daring to move.

"When I saw him with you…" His face hardened, like it was difficult for him to say this. "You belong together." My breath rushed out of me. Why did this savage see this, when our neighbours could not?

"But you heard him," he continued, "You can't stay like this forever. Those people he stayed with – they know him, and they still think of him as…"

"They'll see that they are wrong. They just need time. Things change," I said.

"Yes, but not like that." He snapped his fingers. I folded my arms and looked away, teeth clenched.

"It's not getting better, is it?" he asked softly. He shook his head, "It's not safe for him here."

"It's not safe anywhere else either."

"It will be safe for him with his own people," he said. I was already shaking my head.

"Living in the woods? On the run? Scrounging for food? Living with… violent people, hunted… how can you ask me to make him live like that."

"It doesn't have to be like that. Some groups, they have schools, doctors, farms, _families_," I had heard rumours of groups like this. I had even been in a raid on the largest group left in the North, a few years ago. It was amazing what they had organized. And they were the ones who got caught. I fingered my pendant absently.

"You don't make it sound so bad. So how come you're not living with them?" I watch him closely as he leaned back, face closed.

"I like a little more space," he shrugged. I sensed deceit.

"Maybe we need 'space' too," I said dryly, turning my back to him and laying down on the sofa, pulling Bhask up into my arms, and closing my eyes. Soon I wasn't pretending to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 Released

**  
Released  
**

I woke in the predawn light, listening. The house was quiet, Bhask sleeping still, drooling on my arm. Slow, regular breaths came from the other sofa.

I got up carefully, letting Bhask sleep, watching the wild human til my eyes ached. He didn't move. The silvery light picked out some grey hairs amongst the forest of brown. His face was entirely relaxed. It looked softer, the strength in it relaxed, the laugh lines more visible. But there was sadness too, hovering veil-like over his features.

I padded into the kitchen, ran my fingers over the smooth counters in amazement. He had cleaned it up before he slept. I took a pear into my bedroom and ate it while fossicking silently for clothes. When I came out of the shower, shirt clinging to my damp neck, I saw Alex was awake. I froze in the doorway. Alex and Bhask were on the floor, playing with his cars, and they didn't look up. I had left the shower running for Bhask, and the sound of the falling water gave me an alibi still. Alex had his back to me, and was absorbed in making car noises. I could see my Glock plainly sticking out of the back of his jeans. I crept forward, for once thankful for the deep dusty carpet. In a flash the gun was in my hands and his hands whipped around to flap at nothing where the gun should have been. He turned slowly, wary, car noises forgotten.

"Mum! What are you doing!" Bhask gasped.

"It's ok," I said, moving around to stand next to him, my gun still pointed at Alex. "I have to hand him in now, honey." Alex didn't move, but his eyes were furious.

"Mum, no!"

"Bhask, this is my job. Go turn off the shower. Alex, get up." Alex made no move.

"I don't care! It's wrong! He's not like that!" he butted his head on my knee, fists pounding my thigh, making the gun reverberate.

"Bhaskar."

"He hasn't done anything wrong! He doesn't hurt people, remember?"

"Honey, please," He stood up before me, beside the gun. My eyes flicked between him and Alex.

"Mum."

Alex's eyes were blue-grey, like thunderclouds. The shower gushed on and on.

"Mum, please." Bhaskar's eyes were brown, pleading, shining with tears. Their eyes were the same. Human. Hurting. Fearing. I bit my lip. Bhaskar threw his arms around me, his feet jiggling in delight. He knew that look from countless supermarket expeditions.

"I'm not saying I won't," I warned the top of his jigging head, "I'm saying I'll think about it. I'm saying I'm not going to hand him in right this instant."

"No, not before brekky," Bhask scooted into the kitchen and got out the pancake bowl.

"You brat," I called after him affectionately, shaking my head in frustration. My hands were trembling. "Go use that shower!"

"He's got you twisted around his little finger, hasn't he," Alex said, his voice strained. I felt my cheeks warm, and bent to pick up the toy cars, plonking them in their bucket. After a moment, Alex joined in.

Breakfast was cleared and Bhask had dragged the ant farm out for a show and tell session.

There was a sharp knocking at the door. Bhask grabbed Alex's hand and pulled him into his room, slamming the door. I took a deep breath, composed my face, and opened the front door. It was Teacher Fruish, Bhaskar's school principal. My carefully bright smile melted instantly.

"Oh, hello, Flame," she said, flustered, round eyes locked onto my holster. She edged away unconsciously.

"Hello Teacher Fruish," I managed to say civilly. I did not invite her in. I knew she would be more comfortable away from Bhaskar.

"My, you do take your job seriously, don't you?"

I thought about explaining that I had a wild human in the house, and the thought made me smile. Encouraged by my smile, she drew herself up and stiffened, fixing me with her piercing wintry eyes, pleasant smile firmly in place.

"Is Bhaskar home?" she asked. I wandered if she imagined him prowling the neighbourhood like a werewolf.

"He's out back playing," I replied.

"Mmmm," She said enthusiastically, eyes widening, unable to make a positive comment, but trying to exude goodwill.

"Flame, I wanted to talk to you about him," she said. I steeled myself on the doorframe. I tried to forget this was the women I'd had to argue with to let Bhask do History. She could not see what good it would do for a human to learn about such things, _pre-implantation_. The thought was unsaid but communicated perfectly. She had encouraged me to enroll him in all creative arts classes, like a pre-schooler. She probably wandered why I bothered enrolling him at all.

"I've been trying to call you all week-" she started.

"Yes, sorry about that, I've been…" _Nuts_, _what had Bhaskar said_? "…busy" I finished tersely. And remembered to smile again.

"Well. I see." How did teachers do that? She hadn't even raised her eyebrows and she had made me feel like the most neglectful parent in existence. Teacher Fruish smoothed her skirt with one hand. Her foot made small movements to retreat.

"So I came to see you today… Well it's probably better face-to-face anyway…" She let out a small breath, "You see Bhaskar won't be able to move up a grade next year." She stood firmly in front of me, smile fixed.

"What, again?!" I shouted, then bit back my words. I waited til I could speak at a normal intensity.

"Please forgive me, Teacher Fruish, I shouldn't have spoken so loudly" I said through gritted teeth. "I know he doesn't… get along with all his teachers, but…to be put back again…" my attempts at diplomacy were threadbare. "_Why_?"

"My dear, his grades are just not up to standard," she said. I knew what standard she was thinking of.

"His English marks are _very_ varied and I'm afraid his History grades are abysmal," she continued. I could see the secret pleasure in her eyes. I remembered Bhask's last History assignment. It was on Human Evolution. It had come home shoved to the bottom of his backpack, tear marked, with a large red zero covering the writing on the first page. The same topic he had received an A for in Science the year before.

"I'm sorry, but not all students have the...the capacity to progress to Training School," she said.

"You are saying he's not smart enough."

"Now my dear, we don't think in terms of smart and dumb…"

"He is top of the class in Science!" I battled to keep my anger under control.

"One class does not a leaving certificate make," She said in a voice designed for pre-schoolers, smiling kindly. I knew what she was thinking. She was thinking of dear old Web Song the science teacher and his fondness for his pet humans. My jaw was clenched so hard my teeth were hurting.

"He is still… young… , " she continued, "underdeveloped…"

You mean _human,_ I thought furiously.

"One needs to be rounded academically, behaviourally, emotionally… I 'm afraid there's no question of him moving on to Training School next year," she said firmly, edging a step further towards her car.

"You don't want him in a class full of new Souls." I spoke my thoughts aloud. I watched her face struggle to respond. She couldn't lie.

"His presence would be, well, disruptive," she conceded. I was floored. I couldn't even reply. I had no come back for her frank prejudice. She began making a hasty exit to her car.

"And I'm afraid he won't be able to do this year again. Twice is the limit. So please don't worry about enrolling him next year." She sang over her shoulder and almost ran the steps to her car. I sagged against the doorframe, knuckles white, not seeing her car speed off, the neighbours get back to their weekends.

Bhask's door creaking open brought me back to the present.

"Mum?" he called softly. I closed the front door and he walked into the hallway, hesitant, Alex close behind.

"That was Teacher Fruish," I said quietly. Bhask said nothing, but I could see a weight descend on him.

"She, uh…" I didn't want to tell him, wanted to keep his dreams alive. But I knew I had to. "She says they aren't going to put you through to Training School next year." I could the hurt shining from his eyes, his cheeks taught with suppressed emotion.

"That's not _fair_!" he shouted, running to his room and slamming the door. I couldn't help but follow, aching to make it right.

"Bhask, please!" I said to the painted wood.

"Go. Away." his voice came, choking on his fury. "Go. Away!" I rubbed my forehead in turmoil, but retreated to the living room, plonking on the sofa in despair. After a moment, Alex followed, and slowly sat on the edge of the other sofa.

I raised my hand to stop his words, my face stormy.

"I _really _don't want to hear this right now."

"I know. But please, please just hear me out. I want you to try and... understand. From our point of view. Without Bhask here."

I chewed this over, and finally, eyes narrowed, gave a quick nod.

"You keep on about how we are violent, aggressive, and cruel. But you can be pretty violent and aggressive yourself," he said. I turned to interrupt.

"Please. Just… listen, ok?"

I closed my mouth and turned away.

"You were going to tell me there was just cause for your actions, in every case, right?" He spoke slowly, calmly. I tried to find the trap, and couldn't. I nodded again.

"Why do you think it's any different for us? Life is different here. People are different here. It drives you to do things that, maybe they wouldn't happen elsewhere. People have strong emotions – natural human emotions – but strong. Anger, Love – "

"You don't think Love is only a human emotion?" I jumped in, eyes flashing.

"No, ok, but it's all these things together, what they do to us as a society. You have Love, but you don't have Competition, you don't have Jealousy, Betrayal, Ambition, right?"

"Your emotions are varied and... strong for us" I admitted.

"Right, and these strong emotions are what make us human. It's what makes Bhaskar human. It's what makes us passionate enough to fight for what we believe in. For better _and_ for worse. So when you get people together, you are going to have conflict. And we _have_ to be together, that's just how we are. Ok, I'm not saying it has to escalate into war, I'm not saying we haven't been amazingly selfish, I'm not saying there's not room for improvement. We're not perfect, but we're not all bad either. We're just not… not you. But you're not perfect either. We shouldn't have to become you. We certainly shouldn't not even have the choice, the chance, to improve." His emotions were leaking into his voice, fuelling it so his words seemed to burn. He sighed, running a hand through his bear-like hair, trying to gather his thoughts.

"You see us as savages, randomly violent, ignorant, constantly deceitful, or purposefully cruel. But you don't see the whole picture. You don't look for why we behave as we do, what choices we have to make. You condemn us for our arrogance, our violence, our lack of compassion and peace, then you arrogantly show no compassion in your treatment of us, and justify your own violent behavior in doing it. The Seekers make every human family live in fear. You know about that. You live with that fear every day yourself. _How can you still do that to other people_?"

The sound of Bhaskar's door opening broke the silence. Alex leaned back into the sofa, mouth tight, the only trace of his passionate words his eyes, smouldering still. Bhaskar crept up to me and curled up by my side, eyes downcast.

"I' m sorry I yelled at you," he said grumpily, pulling my hand into his and playing with my fingers.

"It's alright baby," I replied, "You yell all you want. She makes me want to yell, that woman. One of us ought to be able to." He smiled up at me, but the hurt lingered at the edge of his eyes. I wrapped him in a big hug til he squeaked.

"_Mum_!" He complained, and I heard his unspoken meaning: _not in front of Alex_! I laughed and let him go.

"Come on Alex, I'll show you my cartoons."

I rolled my eyes and Alex smiled, following tamely.

Would the world be better or worse without him? I wondered. Once the answer would have been clear-cut, but now I hesitated. Wasn't this hesitation an answer in itself? _I see a soul in him_, I suddenly thought. Not like us, but, a bit like Bhaskar, a _human _soul. The train of thought was frightening. But I knew what it meant. I could not hand him in for insertion. That much, at least, was clear.

I grabbed my car keys and they turned to look at me.

"I'm taking you back."

The drive out seemed longer for the silence. A silence between two people always seems thicker than a silence on one's own. I could feel him watching me. I wandered what he saw.

I pulled into the trail head.

"You are really going to do this," he said.

"It will be like we never met," I replied. My heart rang with falseness of these words.

"You're not going to follow me, hunt me down again?" he asked suspiciously. I shook my head, feeling slightly guilty, my hand absently covering my gun holster. I felt that he wanted to say more, but he turned away.

I watched him walk away, disappearing into the undergrowth. What was the human saying about freeing wild things? I couldn't remember. But I found myself smiling, walking slowly back to the car. As I turned the ignition, I noticed the tension vanished from my shoulders, a weight lifted. I was relieved, but then also, strangely, lonely.

And now, under thundering skies, we were going to free him a second time.


	6. Chapter 6 Race

**Race**

*******

I knew where they were taking him. The same place I would have taken him if he hadn't got my gun: Seeker Headquarters. With rising dread I pictured the place I had brought so many others to over the years. Never had it seemed so forbidding. I calculated and recalculated the time we had left as I drove. They would want to heal him, feed him, strengthen him up first surely. That would at least give us a day. Would they try and question him? I knew he would not answer their questions. But how long would they persist? Hours? Days? Then it was inevitable they would implant him, with a Seeker. He would fight. That much I knew. How long would he last? So many variables, so many things I couldn't control. And beneath it all, there was a feeling of passing the point of no return. It was one thing not to hand him in, passively avoiding my duty. It was another to walk in there, lie, deceive, and break him out. I was a Seeker. This was _not_ what Seekers did.

But I could not let him die.

Then a thought slammed into me. If the Seeker accessed his memories, they would know what I had done. Bhaskar would be at risk. I could not let that happen.

The road stretched ahead, dead straight, no other way to go.

***

The storm clouds broke as we entered the outskirts of town. I drove carefully through the near empty streets. Bhaskar woke up as I pulled into headquarters.

"Lie down in the footwell, ok?" I told him, checking my gun. "don't move til I get back." I kissed his head. "Love you." Glancing back, I could see his dark eyes watching me through the rain spattered window as I ran to the building. My chest was bursting as I pushed the double doors opened and entered the heated entry.

"Flame! You're back? How was the Desert?" A smiling giant held my arm to stop me running into him. I flicked the rain from my eyes, staring, trying to breathe normally.

"Oh hi Garry," I said with false cheer, "didn't see you there. This rain!"

"Yeah it's finally broken. Been humid up here for weeks. No rain down South?" I forced a smile and fought the urge to bolt.

"No, not yet. Interesting work, though. They have much bigger spaces down there."

He laughed. "I bet. Are you back for a while then?" He finally let go of my arm.

"No, I'll be off again in a bit."

"Come in to see our new one hey?"

My heart skipped a beat. "Yeah. I can't believe I missed out on that one."

"Well they are getting rarer and rarer. Soon it'll be only child implantations."

My jaw tensed.

"Well, see you round then."

"Yes, see you," I managed, already retreating down the hall.

_Please, please, please_, I thought. There were people milling about the offices, intent on their work, occasionally flashing a smile as I passed. I tried to keep my face pleasantly impassive as I passed people traveling to and fro. But internally I screamed at the number of people around – had it always been like this? I entered the holding area and stopped dead.

He was there.

"Hi there, Seeker," the holding clerk said, barely glancing up from his computer, "Come to see the new one?"

"Yes," I breathed, glancing at the clerk, forcing my eyes not to stare.

"Go ahead. Everyone here's had a look. Supply's starting to dry up, huh?"

"Certainly is." I said absently, walking up closer. He was seated in a pale holding room, handcuffed. I put my hand on the glass. I knew he couldn't see me through its mirrored surface. My mind whirred through my options as my eyes took in his face, the angry, determined set of his brows, his wonderfully blue-grey eyes, the tenseness around them betraying his fear, the sag of his muscular shoulders. He was unharmed, he was conscious, he was human. This was a start.

"He hasn't been implanted yet?" I asked, trying for a tone of mild interest.

"Uh, no, some hold up with the surgical section," he replied, already absorbed in his work. This was good, surely.

"Any trouble bringing him in?"

"Um," the clerk, looked up, concentrating, I felt stupidly guilty for interrupting him again. "An empty house next to the forested area. Cleaning crew trapped him. Lucky break. But no, no trouble in here," he said, sounding a little surprised.

"I'll go see what the hold up is in surgical." He didn't reply as I tried not to hurry out the door.

Surgical was busy as usual, people rushing everywhere. It was a centre for adult implantations, now that the humans had started resisting mentally. Adult humans were brought from round the country, so that research could be coordinated on the one site. I ducked into a supply room and changed into scrubs, cap hiding my hair, mask covering my face, gloves, booties over my shoes. I grabbed a gurney and whisked it down to the holding area, taking a breath as I shoved it through the doors. The clerk looked up, startled.

"Healers want him now. There's been complications with the other host," I said in my best fierce surgical nurse voice. The clerk was getting up, unlocking the door.

"What complications?"

"They lost the other host," I said acidly, as if my pride was affronted by his questions. I glared at him. "The healers are _very_ upset about it."

"Of course. I'm sorry," the clerk replied, chastened. We walked into the holding room. Would he recognize me? It all depended on this. I took a small spray bottle from my pocket.

"You can take those handcuffs off," I said to clerk, never taking my eyes off Alex. Alex looked straight to me at the sound of my voice. I looked back into his eyes intently, uncapping the bottle. "This is an anaesthetic spray. He'll be out of it in no time. There'll be no need for them." I sprayed it into his face. There was a sharp minty smell, and his eyelids began to droop. I guided him down onto the gurney. The clerk removed the handcuffs. Alex lay completely limp. I rushed him back down the corridor and into a storage room. He was heavier than I had thought. I shook a white sheet over him, checked the corridor, and pushed him unhurriedly to the loading dock. The open roller door filled the area with echoing rain. The workers were huddled to the side, watching the downpour. I parked Alex near the opening and strolled over to them, rubbing my arms at the chill seeping though the thin scrubs. _Oh please oh please oh please…_

"Lost one up at surgical!" I shouted to the attendants through the roar of echoes of the rain. "They're going to transport him now!" They nodded, gave me a thumbs up, unmoving, more interested in the downpour. I re-entered the building, pulled off the hat, mask, gloves, booties, scrubs, and shoved them in the nearest bin. Then I walked back to Surgical, grabbing the first nurse I saw.

"Oh, hello Seeker," she said, looking frazzled, hoping I wasn't more work.

"That new host's not being sent up for implantation anymore," I said, trying to sound cold. The nurse looked a little relieved.

"Why not?" she asked. I did my glaring routine again, this time putting my hand on the hip carrying the Glock. Her eyes widened.

"There were complications," I said stiffly, "It didn't make it."

"Oh how distressing. I'm very sorry. The adults are always difficult aren't they." But she was already sidling away. I walked away, trying very hard not to run to my office. The computer took forever to load, then I typed in a vague, anonymous report about the demise of the new adult host, and filed it. Then I was walking through the front doors, euphoric, gasping, as the rain sluiced over my head and poured down my neck. I sprinted to the car and wrenched open the door.

"It's ok, baby!" I said to the silent foot well, "We're going to make it!" I backed the car to just outside the loading dock, keeping a curtain of rain between the car and the entrance. The gurney and the attendants were exactly as I had left them, on opposite sides of the bay. The sheet covering the gurney was flapping in the wind, revealing flashes of an inert body beneath. Pushing the gurney up to the back of the car, I grabbed the mattress and shoved it body and all into the rear space of the car before the attendants could offer to help. I slammed the boot, and giving them a wave, raced back round to the driver's seat through the rain.

I couldn't believe we had done it.

I was laughing hysterically trying to drive the car at normal speed through the streets.

"Bhask we did it! We did it!"

"Mum?" a voice came from the foot well.

"Get your seatbelt on. Alex, you can get up now, there's no one on the road." I couldn't stop laughing. I glanced at the rearview mirror as a ghostly form rose up in the boot and pulled the soggy sheet off. He met my eyes in amazement, incomprehension.

"You knocked me out with breath freshener?? They really bought that??"

"What can I say? You're a great actor!" I longed to pull over but did not dare stop til we were out of the city.

"You're not so bad yourself." I met his sparkling eyes in the mirror and smiled.


	7. Chapter 7 Running

**Running**

***

Alex lay stretched out on the damp grass, grinning at the clearing sky, enjoying the feel of sun on his face.

"You're _sure_ they won't come looking for us?" he asked. I shook my head, pulling at blades of grass to break them happily into small pieces.

"They think you're dead. Why look for a dead guy? And I'm just a Seeker on the hunt. If I keep checking in with the office every now and again, there's no reason to think otherwise. There're no dots to join." Bhask was asking for a fifth retelling. I smiled, shaking my head as Alex obliged. I walked away, leaving them to it, enjoying a new found sense of freedom. But as always, the future nibbled tirelessly at the back of my mind.

We had set up two tents in a public campsite in a national park on the other side of the next town. It was small, too small to harbour humans, and less likely to be accommodating souls on vacation. We had it to ourselves.

But that night, I was woken by the noise of the tent entry zip undoing rapidly. A dark form pushed inside the tent.

"We've got company," Alex murmured, lying down stiffly beside me. Sure enough, sweeping headlights and the growing purr of a motor heralded the arrival of strangers. I pulled my gun out of the bag by my head.

"Your tent!" I whispered.

"You can say it's a pack tent. I left my pack in there," he whispered back. A picture flashed in my mind of a sharpened stick impaling my back pack, all those months ago. Chasing this chilling picture from my head, I shook Bhask awake gently, putting my finger on his lips. We all lay like statues, straining to hear what our eyes could not see.

The motor cut out. Car doors slammed. Hushed voices dragged on and on amidst unidentifiable noises. Footsteps, zips, metal on metal, ows, giggles, shushes.

"Just more campers," Alex sighed almost soundless in my ear. His body relaxed beside me. I kissed Bhask's head and rubbed the tension out of his arm. He went back to sleep without a sound. I slipped my gun into my waistband and tried to relax.

***

Dawn broke humid and warm. The clouds were beginning to build again. I eased out of the tent. One of the other campers was already pottering about, trying to start a campfire with damp wood. His silver eyes reflected the flash and burn of each match. I stretched in front of the tent, grabbed some dry kindling and wandered over.

"Good morning!" I called softly.

He turned and smiled. "Good morning. Have you come to save me?" I returned the smile.

"It's always harder with wet wood. Here," I said, giving him the kindling and kneeling on the damp grass beside him.

"Oh thank you. We're not really up on all this camping stuff."

"No problem," I replied, breaking up his logs to expose the dry insides, arranging them around the kindling. Flames curled hungrily from my lighter around the sticks and then spread rapidly. The man laughed, then glanced at the still sleeping tents and grimaced.

"You make it look so easy! I've been trying for hours. Floats on Water." He held out his hand. I shook it.

"Hungry Flame. I'm a Seeker so I do this a fair bit."

"And some personal experience by the sounds of it?"

"Yes, I came from the Fire World. A few years ago now though. You were a Sea Weed?" He nodded.

"We all were. But you're not alone here?" he asked. I kept the tone light.

"My partner and son. They're a bit under the weather." I wrinkled my nose, smiling.

"Oh poor things. I hope they feel better soon."

"Thank you. I'll take them to the Healers if they're not better by tonight. They were so excited about this trip."

"Oh my lot too. Well I'll tell them to keep away, let them rest."

"Thank you. I wouldn't want them getting sick and ruining your trip too."

He groaned. "Oh that would be the end. On top of the rain?" We grinned at each other and I left him to it.

I zipped the tent back behind me, feeling Alex's eyes on me.

"Yes, just campers," I whispered. His eyes relaxed a little. "I told them you guys were sick." He nodded.

"We'll leave tonight," I said, fishing my gun out of my pants and replacing it in the bag.

"Where to?"

I paused and sat back on my heels. "I don't know."

"We'll find the humans," he whispered, but Bhask sat up immediately.

"No!"

"Bhask, sh!"

"We are _not_ going back there," Bhask said hotly, more quietly, but equally determined. "I won't. We can't. They were horrible."

"They weren't particularly hospitable," I acknowledged quietly.

"Why can't we go to Alex's place?" Bhask asked. I shook my head.

"They would find us."

"You never did," Alex murmured. True. I wondered about that.

"This is different. Three people couldn't hide. We would be found."

A sudden pain shot across Alex's face. My breath caught in my throat.

"Well we're not going back to _those_ people. They are savages." Bhask was saying. Part of me smiled at the strangeness of hearing such Soul words come out of my son's mouth. But then they would have been my words not so very long ago.

"Alex?" I asked tentatively, "Are you…?"

"You're right," he said, expression still clouded. I frowned, but he continued before I could speak.

"We'll go see my father."

***

Alex's father, Harry Flynt, lived in a remote National Park a few days drive away on dirt roads. I drove, in case we met any Souls, and Alex talked to keep me awake. He told me how he was an outpost in a network of humans, linked to return those hiding in the cities to safe places.

"There were humans hiding in our city?" I asked, amazed.

"No one had come for a long time," he said, voice heavy with regret.

"Then why did you stay?" I saw that pain shoot across his face again as he looked away.

"Alex?" I asked tentatively.

He sighed.

"The last two to come were a young woman and her son. They didn't want to move on, and I didn't make them. It was stupid, but I thought it would be ok. I was lonely, I guess, selfish. But of course, we attracted attention. The Seekers came, and they weren't fast enough. I was watching, hiding, when they were caught." He was silent for a long time.

"Did you ever see them again?" I asked softly.

"No," he replied, "but I waited. Just in case they got away." I was shocked at his recklessness.

"But their memories! The Seekers would know where to look."

"I know. I moved to a new place they hadn't seen. But I couldn't… couldn't leave."

"Until now."

"Yeah."

The road curled up a mountain ridge in the pre dawn light, the street lights of a large town winking out one by one below. I pulled over at the next lookout.

"I'm going into town, get some supplies. You guys wait here?" Alex nodded, and took Bhaskar into the bush.

When I got back some hours later, the sun was fully up, glaring down on the lookout, and the place looked deserted. There was no sign of them. I got out of the car, suddenly filled with panic.

"Bhaskar?" I called and then heard footsteps running towards me.

"Hi Mum!" he replied, giving me a quick hug before scrambling into the car, "Did you get my chips?" Alex was right behind him. I let out a breath slowly, then got back in too.

"You got us _ice cream_! Alright! Alex, you want chocolate or pineapple?"

Alex obligingly took the pineapple.

"This is for you too," I said, handing him a slim manila folder. He opened it puzzled, and I concentrated on driving as he read intently. I had dropped into a Seeker hub and printed off the files relating to Alex's old home.

"They were both young, and the implantations went well," I said after a while, "Their Souls told the Seekers about you. That's why I was looking for you there. I know it was years ago, and they never found anything…" I shrugged.

"They live in Macksville now. She's a teacher," he said in wonder.

"Yes. They're still together." He shook his head and closed the folder.

"Thank you," he said, his glowing eyes lingering on mine.


	8. Chapter 8 Meeting

**Meeting**

***

Though we drove the first section, we still had to hike for days to where the people lived. My people. It felt strange, to have people. Bhaskar was much happier about it than I was. He babbled about cousins, grandfathers, extra presents for birthdays. It hurt to see how much he had missed.

But Flynt told me nothing more about me. Or rather my body. He said it was not his story to tell. I tried not to feel apprehensive. But it was if a deep black cleft was opening up within me.

It was dusk when we reached them. They knew we were coming, and had been watching our approach. They met us as a silent group. We paused in front of them, and waited in silence. But they waited in silence too. I wondered if they were waiting for me, but didn't dare do anything, in case I got it wrong. I stared at my feet, feeling their eyes eating me piece by piece. Alex took my hand and squeezed it. The tiny fear that I had been brought here under false pretences eased a little.

"Edith and George are not here," an older man said, addressing Flynt. Flynt waited silently, reactionless, for him to continue. "They have heard of you coming, and wish to meet you. But they are delayed."

I glanced at Flynt, and then Alex, and then back at Flynt, but got no clues as to what to do Perhaps no one knew, and that's why we were all standing in the darkness in silence.

"Mum, I'm hungry," Bhask finally whispered, trying to be quiet, but in the deafening silence everyone heard. I blushed in embarrassment but gave him a small, sad smile.

"Come," the old man said finally, turning and leading us into the cave. I breathed a silent sigh of relief and felt the tension drop out of my muscles as we followed.

***

The next morning I woke up to find the space next to me empty of Alex, and clutched at the bare ground as fear clutched at my heart. Flynt was watching, sitting silently with his back against the wall.

"You've slept long," he said finally.

"Sorry," I replied a little nervously, "Felt a bit worn out." My hand still rested where Alex should have been, but Flynt said nothing, and I wasn't sure if I should ask. Our voices made Bhask stir beside me.

"Mum," he moaned sleepily.

"Let me guess," I smiled, watching him squirm and stretch, "Hungry."

He grinned back at me with half opened lids. "Where is everybody?"

"Working," Flynt replied, "I'll show you." He rose and we followed him out.

Outside some of the kids were playing with a ball, kicking it around. Bhask watched them, completely absorbed, hunger forgotten, til one of them ran up.

"Hi," she puffed.

"Hi," Bhask replied quietly.

"You playing?"

"Sure." Bhask glanced at me and I smiled. They ran off to join the other kids. I wished I could fit in so easily. But Flynt was waiting and I hurried to catch up.

The women were sitting a little way away in the sun, grinding grains for flour, making dough, baking bread. I was amazed to see that their fires were small and smokeless. Toddlers lounged with their mothers, or played amongst themselves. Flynt gestured for me to sit down. We watched them silently for a while, the women resuming their conversation in a strange tongue. I examined their faces, trying to see them the way a human would. I could see things that distinguished individuals: blue eyes or brown or green, hair brown, black, red, bodies skinny or round, but nothing that joined them as a group. One of the women passed me a fresh baked bun, and I ripped into it gratefully. Flynt watched me eat.

"You don't understand what they are saying?" he asked me quietly.

"Of course not. How could I?" I replied. Flynt said nothing.

"Alex isn't here?" I asked finally, wishing hard for a friendly face.

"He's getting to know the lay of the land," Flynt replied.

"Aren't you afraid of being spotted out here? In the open?"

"We keep track of any Souls in the area at all times. That way we don't run into them."

"How do you do that?"

"We have scouts, one lot stays with any group of Invaders, tracking them, another lot are runners, letting us know where they're at, another lot searches for any new groups."

"And they don't find you?"

"Like I said, we have practice. We leave messages for each other in the grass."

"The Souls don't find them either?"

"You can't see them unless you know what to look for," he murmured. I knew better than to ask further. He left me with the women and I spent the morning watching. Eventually someone gave me some grain to grind. Internally I beamed to be included, if only physically. My forearms were aching by the time everyone broke for lunch.

"Mine name's Dorsey," a young woman said, sitting down beside me. Her straight black hair fell to her waist.

"Hungry Flame," I replied, trying not to be shy. I scanned the children and saw Bhaskar eating with his ball-playing friends. He smiled and waved at me. I waved back.

"That your son?" Dorsey asked.

"Yes," I replied, smiling, "Bhaskar."

"He's not much good with a ball," she said bluntly, but without malice.

"True. He hasn't had much of a chance to practice I suppose."

"Souls don't play ball?"

"Uh, no, some do," I stammered. Thoughts of soul parents ushering their children away from Bhaskar made my cheeks burn. "They just play differently."

"Poor things." Dorsey said, tucking into her meal. I smiled at her, and followed suit. At least someone was willing to talk to me. The day felt instantly less frightening.

***

The scouts and runners returned for the evening meal. Everyone ate together, and discussed the news of the day. I spotted Alex, sitting with the other young people, and sat beside him quietly. Bhask joined us, leaning on me while he ate, and my arm fell naturally around him.

"How's our resident alien this evening?" Alex asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Uh, fine," I smiled. Better, now that there was a familiar, friendly face beside me. The conversation turned to English for our benefit.

"I heard there's a group who know how to take the Souls out," a young woman said, her eyes, darting quickly around, "They are sending them back to the other planets." There was a general buzz of excitement that I could not share. I pressed my lips shut, not wanting to spoil their hope. Alex was watching me.

"Flame?" he asked.

"I don't think they'll be able to keep taking Souls one by one and expect them not to react," I shook my head, "you can't expect them not to defend themselves."

"Attack is not the best form of defence, eh?" Alex said, and we shared a smile.

"They need to understand. We need a truce, them to stop hunting us, us to stop attacking them. It won't happen unless they understand." I fingered my pendant, thinking.

"How can they understand us if they don't even listen to us?" Dorsey said, joining the group.

"They don't want to understand." A young man said. Alex took my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Present company excepted of course," Alex said. The young folk shifted uncomfortably.

"They need to know, whether they want to or not," I said quietly, "But I think they would be curious. Frightened… but curious."

"Frightened?" Dorsey asked.

"Excellent!" the young man said.

"Jake!" Dorsey hissed.

"You hunt them down too, of course they are scared," I explained, keeping my eyes lowered politely, but had to glance round them to see if they understood.

"What if we could talk to them without that fear..." Alex murmured.

"Talking is rubbish," Jake said. Dorsey was shaking her head too.

"No one could get close enough to talk to them. You'd know it was a trap," Dorsey said, "You could never trust them just to talk." An idea bloomed in my head.

"What if you didn't have to get close to them? Would people talk then?" Alex could see the fire in my eyes, and focused on this idea.

"What do you mean?" Dorsey asked. I was getting excited.

"We could film them! People could say whatever they wanted. The Souls wouldn't be anywhere near them, but they'd be able to hear and see them-" I looked at the others eagerly. "We could put in on tv-" Suddenly everyone was talking at once.

"Hang on-"

"Is that even possible?"

"People wouldn't talk."

"Wouldn't they? I know I'd like to tell them a thing or two."

"I don't know-"

"It might work…" Alex said thoughtfully.

"It's worth trying," Bhask said.

"Its risky-"

"How is it risky?" I asked, grinning, "They wouldn't even have to meet a Soul-"

"Except you," Alex interrupted. There was a silence.

"Not necessarily. You could do the filming. I could be the go between for the Souls. I know a woman in the television unit-" I fell quiet as Flynt walked up.

"They're here," he said, and the others scrambled. I looked at Alex questioningly. He grabbed our bowls, dumped them in the washing area and led us over to where everyone else was already gathered just outside.

***

Two people separated themselves from the rest, a man and a woman, their faces glowing with joy. They hugged me tightly, in turn, and then moved onto Bhaskar.

"Edith and George," Flynt said, "your parents."

"You have brought her back to us," the man, George, said.

"No, I…" I stammered, taken aback at being thrust into this meeting with no warning. I'd been thinking about it for days, but somehow now it felt like it had been sprung on me.

"I knew you as soon as I saw you," Edith said, fingering my pendant, turning to George, "She always loved silver jewelry, didn't she?"

"You don't understand-" I tried again. They were taking me for their daughter. I was not their daughter.

"We can see her in you." Their faces seemed lit from within. Edith bent forward and whispered "You still grieve for the man you love." They smiled at me knowingly. I couldn't speak.

Alex took over, handling the introductions to Bhaskar, moving us inside, organizing tea. I found out the name of the person that had inhabited the body before me. Burning Lights. It sounded like a Soul name, but Alex reminded me that Indigenous names could be different like that. To me it was all unreal, only Bhaskar's grip on my hand grounding me.

"Tell us how you lost her." Alex said finally, when everyone was settled. I blinked and tried to concentrate. Alex hauled Bhask onto his knees and locked his arms around him. Bhask leant into his chest dozily. It had been a big day.

Burning Lights' parents put down their mugs. Sadness leaked into their eyes.

"She was young, in love with a young man-" George started.

"Fallling Snow." Edith said.

"Yes," he sighed, "Most of the young men would go out on raids, rescues, attacks, but most of the time Falling Snow preferred to be with her." The couple exchanged smiles. "They were good together."

"But the Seekers began to search our area, and we knew we had to move on," George continued. "Falling Snow stayed til last to make sure the others got away safely, and she wouldn't leave without him. It was so bitterly cold." He sighed again, his face aching with sadness. His wife took up the story softly.

"It was the end of autumn, the first snows trailing on our heels. The Seekers were getting too close, and the young men went out to keep them away. Falling Snow got too close. He was shot," she paused, swallowing a moment, "Everyone was running, grabbing what they could and running, running. But Burning Lights didn't run with us. She had heard the shot. She heard the runners saying his name. She knew he was gone. And something in her died too. She walked away into the grassland, and every step took her away from us and towards the Seekers. Soon she was lost to us in the snowstorm." She wept silently, rocking. I felt her pain in my own body, and it paralysed me. Alex took my hand.

"Can you tell us what happened then?" he asked me. I gazed at him and after a moment began to speak.

"She was found alone… lying in the snow. She was… catatonic. So cold. So close to death. They didn't know if they could save her." Somehow I could feel that cold still and shivered.

"But they did." Alex said softly.

"Yes. They didn't want her to be cold again, so they gave her a flame to keep her warm," I smiled, "Me. But when I awoke in her body, there was no one there. Well, there was Bhaskar I suppose, though I didn't know it then." I smiled at him, and could not tell if he slept or not. "But there were no memories, no pictures of home, family."

"No, you wouldn't have any pictures to remember," her father said. I turned to look at them, frowning.

"She was blind."


	9. Chapter 9 Lost

**Lost**

*******

_Blind_.

I stood up suddenly and walked away without a word. I faintly heard someone say "No, let her go." When the cool night air outside cooled my cheeks I found I was outside the entrance, arms wrapped around my chest, drinking in the moonlight. The moon was setting when Alex found me like this a little while later.

"You're crying," he said.

"Yes," I managed.

"Is that a good thing?"

I bit my lip.

"I don't know," I was shivering though the night was not that cold. He waited.

"It's not true. What they are saying," I shook my head back and forth, back and forth, "It's not true."

"You think they're lying?"

"No, I can see they believe their words. But I don't wear this," I gripped my pendant, "because I like silver jewelry. I don't grieve for a dead man I've never even met. I don't see her past not because she didn't see it to begin with. I don't see it because it's not there." My shoulders trembled harder and I folded my arms more tightly, struggling to stay in control. "I'm not her. I'm not her!"

He gripped my shoulders, gently, firmly, and looked into my eyes.

"I know," he said, his face concerned in the moonlight.

"How can you know," I asked, looking away. He let out a breath, but he held my shoulders still.

"I was taken away from my family when I was young. My mother died, and the law at the time… well, you could do that to people like us. I was brought up in another place, with different people. What Bhaskar has to deal with at school, I went through that too. It's not just because he's human. The prejudice from the time before haunts those bodies, it taints their Souls too.

"I didn't meet my father til high school. The law had changed, and families were allowed to take back their children. I didn't feel like a child. I had my own life, but they searched me out. I remember my father introducing me to aunts, uncles, cousins, them all remembering a person I felt no connection with, telling me I was part of something I knew nothing about." He looked away.

"What did you do?" I asked. He smiled wryly.

"I fought it. Literally. A guy passed me at school one day and said 'Hey bro'. I snapped. I punched him and he was sprawling in the dust. I was screaming at him: 'I'm not your brother! I don't even _know_ you! We are not even _related_!' Finally I ran out of puff and just stood there, livid, glaring at him. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so surprised. I guess no one took me for a fighter. Turns out he _was_ my brother; my half brother. My father had remarried." He drew a smile out of me. His smile grew and he drew me into a hug. "It'll be okay" he said softly.

So why did I feel the more they found their daughter, the more I lost myself?

***

The darkness was overwhelming. I could hear the wind whispering through the prairie grass, carrying the scent of crushed dry herbs to me, caressing my cheek, lifting my hair. I could feel the stubble of grass, small rocks, the smooth hard ground and its cracks beneath my feet. The sound of crickets calling in the grass, some near, some far, the whirr as they fluttered from grass clump to grass clump. A distant bird shrieking in the sky.

My eyes flew open and I sat up gasping. The ragged thumping in my chest pulsed in my fingers, my ears. _That was not a memory_, I told myself. It could not be a memory. The embers of the dying fire reached fingers of light over the curves of sleeping forms around me.

"Flame?" I heard Alex say, musky with sleep.

"I'm fine," I replied without moving. It was just being here, meeting these people. Their memories were so vivid.

"Flame, what's wrong," he said,

"I'm… I'm fine," I said, hugging my knees.

"You don't look so fine."

"Just a bad dream," I flashed him a quick smile. Was it a bad dream? It hadn't been frightening when I was in it. It was just… powerful. Overwhelming.

"Go back to sleep," he said, rubbing my back.

"Yeah," I replied, and his hand fell gently away. But I did not want to close my eyes. The darkness would make the dream seem too real. _It would make me too much like her_. My throat was aching dry at the thought.

I lay down, pretending, but my wide eyes grabbed greedily at any feature. The shadowy lines of his face in the amber light of the embers became more precious to me than I could say. I had thought him asleep, his eyes invisible in deep shadows, but his hand reached forward and gently cupped my face.

"What are you afraid of?" he whispered.

"I don't know," I replied, my lips twisted into a rough smile beneath his palm. I felt him waiting, and took a slow breath.

"It was just a dream. But I felt like I was her. Burning Lights." His hand tucked a stray curl of hair behind my ear. "It scared me, I don't know, it was like, like I wasn't alone anymore. Like her body was taking over." My face tensed, remembering.

"Flame, she gave up before you even knew her. She was gone by the time you got there. You know in your heart she isn't in you." His voice was so calm, so sure. I searched inside myself, hunting for something different, for some trace of her. Nothing.

"I know. It's just hard here. Before, I knew where I fit. I was a Seeker. But now… I don't know who I _am_ anymore." The harder I tried to grab hold of it, the more I was clutching at mist. He drew me into his arms gently.

"You know who you are. It's just that you are a doer. You haven't been able to _do_ for a while. Be patient." How strange that a human should be counseling a Soul to be patient.

"Close your eyes," he said. I let his warmth comfort me, and closed my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10 Doing

**Doing**

***

I was exhausted the next morning. Those who had slept around me had already left to get on with the day, leaving me to sleep on. I wasn't sure if I was I was grateful or lonely. Edith and George had stayed behind, a little way apart. George had Bhaskar on his knee while Edith lovingly fed him sweets. Bhaskar saw me wake and ran over.

"Mum!"

"Mornin' Bhask," I said hugging him. "Lets go outside, ok?" He followed me out, glancing back at Edith and George, who made no move.

"Are you avoiding them?" he asked.

"They creep me out," I said before I could stop myself.

"_Mum_!" Bhaskar said.

"Sorry, that's not fair is it," I sighed. But it was true.

"_I_ think they're nice."

"_You_ think anyone's nice who spoils you rotten."

"They're my grandparents, it's their job."

The shouts of children playing ball carried far in the cold morning air and with a glance for consent, Bhask ran off to join them. My eyes followed him out over the grassy plains, imagining snow falling, people running…

"Flame," Dorsey called, waving, drawing me out of my daydreams, and I hurried over to join in the work.

That night, as people finished up their dinner, a deep drumming sounded, so loud it reverberated through my whole body. It was like being cocooned in sound, like everyone's blood was beating as one. Everyone gathered in a circle, and slowly, people began to enter it, dancing to the beat, losing themselves and finding themselves in the rhythm. Everyone had their own individual style: Dorsey elegant and athletic, spinning, hopping, and swaying; an older woman slower but powerful, deeply rhythmic. Flynt had pulled Alex over to the drummers, and then Bhask was led off by a friend to learn how to dance. A small smile found my features as I watched him learning foot moves in the firelight. Then I saw Edith watching him too. She was sitting alone. I bit my lip. I took a breath and walked over to her.

"You're not dancing?" I had to lean down to her ear so she could hear me over the drums. She was low down so I was crouching, then I gave in and sat next to her. She shook her head, smiling at me, and showed me her old fingers, twisted and swollen.

"Were you injured?" I asked, reluctant to touch them. She shook her head again, amused.

"Happens to everyone when they get old," she said, tucking them back into her shawl.

"Can't you go to a Healer?" I asked.

"I am a healer," she said. Then amusement lit her face again and she nodded at Bhaskar, who was getting the hang of it. We watched him sharing a companionable silence.

***

The drumming had continued til late, and I found myself asleep before it finished. In the morning I woke up in the sleeping area, covered in a blanket. Bhask was pulling on his shoes, standing on one leg. I put my hand on his thigh and he jumped, losing his balance and fell onto Alex. Alex woke up startled, to finding Bhask sitting on him and both us trying to stifle our laughter into our hands. He smiled and shook his head, pulled on Bhask's shoes for him, grabbed his and mine and led us outside.

"Your idea is causing quite a stir," he said, pulling on his shoes as I did mine. We all walked down to the woods. Though it had seemed simple at first, the more I thought about filming human messages to the Souls, the more complicated it got.

"We've got to do _something_. I can't stand for things to keep going as they are." I said. Bhask grabbed my hand as we walked.

"It would mean talking to a lot of humans," he said.

"We can start here," I said, smiling at Bhask.

"Then it would mean finding others," he said doubtfully. We reached the river, and sat on the smooth boulders bordering its edge.

"Finding is what I do. Plus we could use connections from here, work out by word of mouth, like a spiders web."

"It wouldn't be safe for you with the other groups, it's not like here..."

"I don't have to meet them. But it wouldn't be safe for you on the roads. I'd have to go."

"I'd have to go too," Bhask said confidently.

"Oh really."

"Yep. Those other humans almost shot you last time," his voice trembled a little, "they only didn't because of me. I'd have to go to protect you."

"No one's going anywhere yet. People here haven't even decided if it's a good idea," Alex said.

***

People discussed the idea amongst themselves for several days, then a meeting was called. Everyone had a chance to speak. One of the elders began, talking long and vividly of the past. Others continued with stories about how they found themselves there that day. They spoke well, clearly, easily, obviously used to talking in front of a group like this, and their stories became real for me.

Alex kept looking at me pointedly, wanting me to speak, but I shook my head. I had no story that fit in with these. He knew my idea. He could talk about it. Finally Edith stood up.

"When the Souls came, we lost everything. Our family, our homes, our lives," Everyone listened quietly. "You all know that I lost a daughter. The Souls did not kill her, but she died because of them. Her spirit followed another's. I thought I had lost her forever long ago. But this woman has brought her back to me. She has brought not only a daughter but a grandson too." She paused, smiling secretively, "Who knows, perhaps one day she will bring me a son-in-law too." There was quiet laughter around the circle.

"She has brought great gifts to us, and she offers more. I wish to hear her speak." She looked at me with her piercing old eyes, and I felt the pressure of dozens of human eyes falling on me as the circle turned its focus to me. My throat went dry. Bhask elbowed me hard. I gave him a dirty look and got to my feet unsteadily.

"Uh," I started. _Oooh great start_, I thought.

"I uh… I guess I just wanted to talk about what to do for the future. I have been hearing all your stories and… well it's terrible what happened in the past. What's still happening. I used to be a part of that. I was a Seeker. But I had Bhaskar too. So… So I know that fear of waiting everyday, hoping your family won't be taken away from you. I thought if I just gave it time, people would see what I see in him," I smiled at him. He looked back at me with grave eyes.

"But they weren't looking." My smile faded. "They only get one side of the story. They think humans are… violent, aggressive, cruel," I smiled sheepishly at Alex, "But they don't see any further than that. They don't see that you have human souls. So they can't know that what they do is wrong. They think they are doing a good thing for the planet.' I grimaced. I hoped I was making sense. There was still a respectful silence from all the listeners, so I swallowed and continued.

"I think we need to _show_ them what humans are. I think we need to _tell_ them. They all have human hearts and minds now, as well as Soul ones. They are finding this planet very different in so many ways. They know they don't know everything. Well, maybe they suspect it anyway. If we could show them what they are doing, how it breaks up families, ruins people's lives… If they could understand how humans feel… If they could have been listening tonight… Well, we won't get anywhere if no one understands." Alex smiled at me. I smiled back, let out a breath and sat down. Bhask gave me a hug and grinned.

"That was great!" he said in my ear. I hugged him back with trembling arms. Slowly Alex stood up.

"I am not from here," he began, "But my story is the same as many of yours. I know you wonder at me for bringing a Seeker here. You don't know whether you can trust her. I didn't know either at first." I laughed quietly, thinking of him aiming my gun at me. It seemed so long ago.

"But you have seen her son. He is human, like us. And he is human because of her. She has brought him here so that he can live. But who here is happy with the life we can offer him?" He looked around the circle, and no one looked content.

"Flame offers us a way to try to change that future. Will you be open fisted and accept this gift? Or close fisted and keep fighting a losing war?" He waited until the mutterings died down.

"All she asks for are your words. She makes no promises. But she is prepared to try. _We_ are prepared to try," he said, meeting my eyes. I held his gaze. The cave filled with a low hum of private discussions and arguments around us. Alex walked over to me.

"Are they going to do it?" I asked him, heart in my throat.

"They have to think about it first," he said. I tried not to look disappointed. He gave me a hug, and I found my arms and hugged him back.

"Thanks for your help," I said. He looked a little bashful.

"You didn't need it really. You spoke well," he said. I laughed and shook my head, but Dorsey came up and agreed.

"You did you know," she said, "You showed them that Souls can be human too." I looked at her ruefully. She moved to the side as Edith came forward. I smiled at her, then let go of Alex and gave her a hug. She looked surprised, and pleased.

"Thank you," I said, but couldn't say anything more in case the tears started to fall.

"Both my girls together at last," she sighed happily, looking at Dorsey and me. My eyes narrowed. Dorsey was stealing looks at me from the corner of her eye, almost _anxiously_. Nobody said anything.

"You're my… you're my _sister_?" I asked. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. Bhask wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"That's good, isn't it mum," he said firmly. I looked into his stern face and had to smile.

"I guess so," I said finally, and Dorsey looked slightly relieved. Everyone looked relieved.

"You all _knew_, didn't you!" I said, affronted, "and no one told me!"

"We thought you had enough on your plate," Alex said. But the look in his eyes told me the truth. He was afraid I would turn on my friend like I had on Edith. I felt ashamed . Dorsey smiled at me and I shared it.

"It's really good," I said, sincerely this time.

***

Over the next few days, people began coming up to me and talking. Telling me about themselves, asking about me. The mood seemed to be positive for my idea. Then Flynt came to say goodbye. He was returning home.

"I'll talk about your idea with my people," he said. He hugged Alex quickly and left. He didn't seem to have warmed to me, but perhaps that was just his way. He wasn't particularly warm to Alex either.

One night, another meeting was called. People spoke more briefly. Most people _were_ in favour. Some had reservations. Some just didn't want to be involved. But very few were actually opposed.

"What if they recognize this place? What if we lead them here?"

"We'll need a backdrop. No one could tell where it was filmed then."

"We could paint the backdrop!"

This went on for some time, until one of the elders stood up, and the room quietened.

"Hungry Flame, there are people here who support this project. Those that do not, do not need to be involved. I don't think it will jeopardise the safety of our camp." He waited for others to disagree, but no one did. "What do you need to do to start?"

"Well, we'll need a camera to start with. That's no problem, I'll just need to go into town-"

"We'll need to do that before winter sets in then," Dorsey interrupted, and I was nodding.

Others were chipping in with suggestions, and somehow, it began.


	11. Chapter 11 Beginning

**Beginning**

*******

Alex was fiddling with the camera controls, exploring how it worked. Dorsey and George were hanging the back drop, and I was telling them when it was straight. Edith was having trouble with her joints in the sudden cold weather, and kept to her bed most of the time. We were so intent on our work we didn't notice the snow begin to fall. The delighted screams of the children let us know soon enough.

"It's snowing!" they cried over and over, running around madly trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues. It fell gently, but persistently, continuing all day. I'd never seen snow like this. The grasslands and the forest were slowly buried in white. We continued working inside, and the children exhausted themselves making snow angels and snow men, close to the cave where they couldn't be seen from the air. The scouts donned snowshoes and travelled while the falling snow would cover their tracks. It was a new world.

That evening, George sat in front of the backdrop, camera and light staring at him, and cleared his throat. We were ready for the first screen test.

"The snows have started to fall," he started.

"You can't say that!" Dorsey interrupted, "Its little clues like that that will let them track us down!"

"Dorsey, it doesn't just snow _here_," Alex said.

"No, she's right," I said, "We don't want to give them anything. Little things like that build up." Dorsey looked vindicated. Alex went back behind the camera.

"Sorry George," I said.

"That's ok," he said in his gravelly voice, "need you young folk to keep us on our toes, eh?" He cleared his throat again and thought some more.

"I have lived for many years and seen many things…"

We settled down on the ground out of reach of the camera's eye and listened til late in the night.

***

The next morning the snow was still falling. It was mesmerizing, never ending. Bhask had run off with the other kids to see if the river had frozen over yet.

Alex was still sleeping, his back to me. I leaned over his shoulder and admired his familiar face as he slept. He looked so much happier here than he had back in the city. I remembered looking at his face as he slept on my sofa, so long ago. The sadness he had worn then was gone now. Slowly I noticed he was smiling too much to be asleep.

"You faker!" I hissed, punching his arm. His eyes flew open and he grabbed my wrists, flipped me over, and sat on me.

"Souls don't punch remember?" he whispered in my ear, grinning, "They are _nice_, kind-hearted, _non-violent_, things, remember?" He bounced on me to emphasise each point til I couldn't hold my laughter in. He let me up and I hit his thigh hard and skipped out of the way.

"I must have been amongst you lot too long then," I whispered, hiding behind Dorsey's sleeping form.

"Flame, go away, it's way too early," Dorsey moaned from under the blankets.

"Grab her for me Dorsey, she's got too much energy for her own good," Alex said, holding me with his eyes. Dorsey pounced and rolled me up in her blanket with her.

"Now be a good little sister and go back to sleep," she said into my ear, pinning me with her legs and one arm and tickling me with the other til I was helpless with laughter.

"_Cruel_ humans!" I gasped, "too cruel!" Dorsey grinned and sat up, pulling me up and keeping me trapped in her lap.

"She's a wild one," Alex grinned, shaking his head and sitting in front of us. He grabbed my foot that was sticking out of the blanket and wrapped his hands around it, keeping it warm.

"I can't believe it's still snowing," I said, gazing at the entrance again, entranced.

"Oh, it'll go on for days," Dorsey said in a bored voice, "I can't believe we're going to start filming today, for real."

"What, George isn't real," Alex asked, smiling. Dorsey rolled her eyes at him.

"It's good to be finally doing something," I said contentedly.

Some shouting outside made us look up just as George ran into the entrance. Dorsey let me go and we all stood up. George saw us too, and grabbed both my hands.

"Flame, there's been an accident-" he puffed.

"Bhaskar?" I breathed. I ran outside and stopped dead. I didn't even feel the snow under my bare feet. Jake was walking up the hill cradling a small limp body in his arms. The snow was falling onto them, covering Jake's head and shoulders in powdery white. But Bhask had no white on him, and water dripped from his fingers and toes.

George steadied me from behind.

"He fell in the river. Alex, get some water boiling and bring some blankets. Dorsey, get your mother," I heard George say. I couldn't move. Jake seemed to be carrying him up the hill in slow motion, the snow falling slower than dust.

"Bhaskar?" I whispered finally. George put his coat around my shoulders.

"The riverbanks were covered in snow. He slipped," he said. Finally Jake was bringing him inside the cave, and I floated beside him, numb, watching Bhaskar's white, still face. Jake laid him down gently by the nearest fire on a pile of blankets. Alex began stripping his small wet clothes off and George rubbed him roughly with a blanket, then turned him on his side when he began to cough. His movement seemed to unlock me from my stupor and I grabbed his hand and rubbed it hard.

"We need to get him to a Healer," I said.

"Edie _is_ a Healer," Dorsey said, helping Edith shuffle over to us and sit next to Bhask. I wanted to say a_ real_ Healer, with _proper_ medicines, but I held my tongue.

"Anyway we can't go anywhere while this snow keeps up," Dorsey said to me softly. Edith rubbed a fragrant balm deep into his skin with sure practiced movements, singing softly under her breath. Alex filled up bottles with boiled water and tucked them between his arms and body. Edith wrapped him tightly in a thin blanket and George hefted him up.

"You need to hold him against your skin," he said. I unbuttoned my shirt and George placed his icy body in my arms. Alex tucked more hot water bottles around us and wrapped us up in a blanket. I could feel his bony chest heave and crackle with each breath. Edith got Bhask to drink a little medicine and then mixed another into a bowl of boiling water. Dorsey held it under Bhask's face, putting an arm around me.

"He needs to breath in the steam," she explained, "You need to rub him, too." I rubbed his freezing arms as the tears flowed. Dorsey's head rested on my shoulder and she joined Edith's singing. I put my face in his hair and wept.

When I began to shiver, Alex took over, moving to a more sheltered fire place. He folded Bhask into his arms and sang quietly into his ear, rocking him back and forth. Little by little, the colour crept back into Bhask's face. He frowned and pressed into Alex's chest.

"Mum?" he mumbled.

"I'm right here baby," I whispered. He opened his eyes heavily and held out his arms. I pulled him into my arms and squeezed him.

"Ow," he mumbled sleepily and coughed. Alex and I grinned at each other, relief making us giddy.

Dorsey came over with some soup and bread.

"Ok, so crisis over, now you have to eat," she said, sitting in front of me, flicking her hair out of her face and holding a spoonful of soup up. I extricated an arm from the blankets and held the bowl of soup to my lips. I drank, slowly becoming aware of how hungry I was.

"You too, dopey," she said, throwing some bread at Alex, who caught it smiling. He got up to get his own soup.

"Should Bhask have some?" I asked.

"Edie says no, it will draw the heat away." Dorsey replied, "Wait til he's properly awake."

But as the evening wore on, he grew more and more lethargic. I couldn't wake him at all and he was limp apart from his coughing. His cheeks had started to grow warm. Too warm. I rocked him through the night and snapped at Alex when he tried to get me to sleep. Edith sat with me, but by morning I could see she was exhausted.

"Dorsey, please make Edie go and get some proper sleep," I whispered as Edie swayed and snapped awake again.

"What about you," she hissed, helping Edie up.

"I'm fine," I said, setting my features into stone.

***

Bhask was sweating in my arms, panting, and shivering. I pushed down my rising panic and concentrated on holding onto him. _It'll be alright, baby_, I thought to him fiercely, _just hold on_. _Hold on_. Time was meaningless so long as he was breathing in my arms.

In time his body cooled, and he lay without moving, apart from the shallow breaths that moved his chest a terribly tiny amount.

I became aware of Dorsey sitting beside me. I wandered how long she had been there.

"Edie wants to do a healing ceremony for him," she said hesitantly, "It's not going to hurt him."

"Ok," I said after a while, "Tell her to go ahead."

Dorsey hesitated."She needs you to be involved too."

I thought about this.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Dorsey sighed.

"You're not going to like this," she said. I waited.

"Edie thinks there are spirits hanging around. She says you're surrounded by death. Dead spirits are keeping him from getting better or something."

"What do you mean, dead spirits."

"I don't know, it's just what she said. Spirits of dead people I suppose. I think she wants to get the spirits to go away." I thought about Icefire. I didn't want him to go away. I like that he always felt close to me.

"What if I don't want the spirits to go away. How does she know they're hurting him?"

Dorsey sighed in frustration.

"Too much death is not good for the living. I think its sucks their life force away or something. I don't know," she looked embarrassed, "You have to let them go."

"What if the spirits don't want to go away," I asked.

"If they love you, they'll want what's best for you, and they'll let you go."

I wetted his lips, mopped his forehead, thinking, looking at his silent face.

"No," I said quietly.

"I knew I wouldn't explain it right," Dorsey groaned and left in frustration.

A while later, George sat next to me without speaking. He sat silently for a long time, and I began to forget he was there.

"He's a strong boy that one," he said finally, "takes after his mother." I flashed him a small smile.

"Trying to save the world with this crazy camera project." I knew he was kidding me and laughed softly. "Holding onto hope when the rest of us are hiding up here." He shook his head. "You hold onto everything tight, don't you? As long as you can." He didn't expect me to answer, and after a while went on.

"Burning Lights let go of this world too quick. She was holding onto Falling Snow's spirit so hard, she couldn't even see the rest of us. She thought it was the end of the world when he died. But she was wrong. She had a lot of living to do. It hurt the rest of us mortals that she couldn't embrace that. Edith blames herself a bit, you know? She wanders what would have happened if she had been with her, could've weaved a bit of her magic. That's been eating away at her all these years." He sank back into silence. I thought about Burning Lights like a ghost, haunting everyone for so long. I thought about how she haunted me as well, in a way. I looked at Bhaskar, her child. My child. I didn't understand what Edie wanted, but I knew they loved him, and it was important somehow.

"Ok," I whispered, "I'll do it."


	12. Chapter 12 Waiting

**AN: the song in this chapter is Charles and James Passi's, from the RAN soundtrack :D. Ie not mine and I have no claim to it.**

* * *

**Waiting**

***

The ceremony was a muddle of chanting, drumming, and smoke in my memory. I was so tired I couldn't think, and Dorsey finally persuaded me to give Bhask to her for a moment while I slept.

I woke up shaky with hunger and Dorsey refused to give him to me til I had eaten something. The she left me in George's care whilst she slept. Bhask seemed no different; still, pale, limp, barely breathing. But still breathing.

His face grew indistinct as the day grew darker. I cradled him in my arms and sang to him softly.

All of my life

I've been searching for someone like you

To love me

and to hold me

All night long

Tell me tonight

that you'll never ever let me go

That you'll stay with me

and keep me company

all night long

For you are my one and only

Flower of my island dream

Nomaba kara netat lucik

"That's a beautiful song" Dorsey said next to me, making me jump, "It reminds me of the islander songs." She gave me a small smile, "Please keep going." I returned her smile, wiped my eyes and went on.

Tell me that you'll stay forever

Tell me that you'll never leave

Make me happy

come on and please me

all night long

For you are my one and only

Flower of my island dream

Nomaba kara netat lucik

"It's lovely," Dorsey said softly.

"My mate used to sing it to me," I whispered, "I used to sing it to Bhask when he was little," Memories of him in my arms back then threatened to overwhelm me. We were so happy then. I was completely out of my depth, but we were safe…

"Ooh Dorsey what am I doing out here? Maybe I never should have left the city." She took my hand and rubbed it gently.

"A life lived in fear is a life half lived," she murmured. I knew she was right. Bhask had been so much happier here than he ever was in the city.

"Teach me that song?" Dorsey asked. We sang to kept the darkness away.

"Dorsey, what was… Burning Lights like?" I asked avoiding her eyes. Dorsey frowned and shrugged.

"Weird," she said, "like all little sisters. I don't know. I wasn't around much."

"Did you get taken away?"

"Not really," she looked uncomfortable. "I just went to school somewhere else. Burning Lights didn't have to go to school, because of her eyes. So she stayed at home. I used to see her in the holidays sometimes." She gave me a funny tight smile.

"It was a school for… difficult children," she said in a small voice, "My school. Apparently I was a difficult child." I smiled at her.

"I can't imagine that," I whispered. She held my gaze for a moment. She took Bhask out of my arms and I lay down properly, battling to keep my eyes open.

"I wasn't here when she died, you know," Dorsey continued, "I was up north, at school. We didn't know about the invasion til quite late. No one ever old us anything up there. But some of the kids got messages from their families to say something was wrong. People were acting strangely, disappearing. We were afraid we wouldn't be able to get away in time. I wasn't going to hang around and see. A few of us broke out and ran away, following the old trails to get back home. Of course it wasn't home any more. The others… that stayed… I never saw them again."

I reached out and held her hand, and then sleep overwhelmed me.

***

I took over from her when I woke up, and Dorsey went to check on Edie. Later she came back and sat beside me.

"Will you go talk to those kids for a minute?" she pointed with her chin at a group huddled around a fire. I stalled for time, looking for a reason why I couldn't leave Bhask.

"Why?" I asked.

"They think you're not talking to them because you're mad them."

"Why would I be mad at them?"

"They think they should have kept Bhaskar safe. They were playing with him that morning."

"Oh," I said. I tried to feel mad at them, and couldn't. Inside, I was empty of anything but the idea of holding on.

"Just go and talk to them, ok?" Dorsey pleaded. I put Bhaskar carefully into her arms, kissed his cool cheek and slowly walked over to the other children.

"Hi," I said, sitting down.

They looked at me shyly, their eyes looked huge in the firelight. Their faces were grimy from living in the cave for days on end, merged with the shadows. I felt my heart go out to them.

"Did you come from another planet?" one finally asked.

"Uh huh," I nodded, "the Fire World." They looked at me expectantly.

"Is that the only other planet?" another asked.

"Oh no, there's the bears' Ice World, there's a world of intelligent flowers..." They were looking amazingly unperturbed. Then I remember their stories were often peopled by talking animals and intelligent plants.

"Then there's a whole world that's underwater. The people there are plants that are all connected, so thoughts can drift between them like leaves in a stream. When someone tells a story, you don't even have to listen; it comes to you like breathing…" Their faces grew distant as they retreated into the worlds I created for them.

"Why did you come to _this_ world?" a little one with especially big sad eyes asked. I searched for words, then felt Alex's hands on my shoulders.

"Because there was a rumour that Earth had the best ice cream in the _universe_," Alex said to them over my head, "and Flame just had to come and find out for herself." The kids dissolved into giggles.

"Bhaskar's awake," he whispered in my ear, hauling me up and swapping places with me.

"Now who wants to know about the ice bears with knives for hands?" he continued smoothly as I hurried away.

"Bhask?" I called softly, leaning over Dorsey's shoulder. His wonderful brown eyes were looking up at me sleepily.

"Mum?" he murmured. I hugged him hard, rocking back and forth.

"Oh baby. Oh my baby," I whispered, letting the tears come. He would be okay. The next thing I knew there was a great shout and a gentle light was filling the cave. It had stopped snowing.


	13. Chapter 13 Moving

**Moving**

***

George, Dorsey, Alex and I were planning for the trip to extend the reach of the project to other human camps. Spring had melted the snow enough to get the car out, and we had all the footage we needed from here.

"I mustn't know where they are. If they reimplant me… it would be too dangerous," I was saying.

"Alright, Flame camps a little way away with the car, the gear. Alex goes in alone." George said.

"What if the Seekers spot you?" Dorsey asked, worried. I laughed.

"They won't give me any trouble. I'm one of them, remember?"

"And I'll stay with you," Bhask said, "To keep you safe from the humans." I hugged him closer.

"Don't even think it, Dorsey. You're staying here," George said firmly, "the less people out the better." Dorsey glowered but George put his arm over her shoulders and jollied her into a smile.

"Anyway, we'll want your help to move to spring camp," he said, and Dorsey was scowling again.

The first group we checked in on was Alex's people. Bhask and I camped a few kilometers away from the road while Alex went in to test the waters.

***

The spring sun was heavenly after the cold of winter. Bhaskar had learnt how to make a spear and we spent many hours by the river. I dozed happily on the bank watching him stab at shadows. When he got bored of that we tried following game trails through the forest, looking for broken branches, crushed grass, elusive tracks, and jewel of jewels – scats!

After a week or so Alex returned. We ran to him and bear hugged him before he'd even managed to get out of the trees. I always had a vague worry that he wouldn't come back to us, that he would stay with the humans. This notion worried me more than I could explain.

"Hang on, let me take my pack off at least!" he protested. We pulled his pack off him and dumped it in the grass. He grabbed both of us round the waist and heaved us into the air.

"Well I'm happy to see you guys too!" he said through our shrieks and laughter.

"Did it go ok?" Bhask asked.

"Pretty good," Alex smiled, "There'll always be some stick in the muds, but I think we did ok."

We grinned at each other. It was really happening: the Souls would hear wild human voices speaking to them directly. The potential was huge.

"Alex, come see my spear!" Bhask said, hauling him off to the river. He let himself be led as dutiful as a dog.

***

I drove into town to meet my friend in television, Jan, at her office.

"It sounds amazing," she said, "Raw footage from humans in the wild? Do they say much?"

"Actually, I haven't looked at it yet," I replied.

"Let's see what you've got," she said, downloading the footage onto her workstation.

I recognized Flynt on the screen.

"In the time before, there were not many wolves," he was saying, "The white man used to hunt them because he thought them cruel and violent. But he did not know them. The wolf has to hunt to feed its family. It has to fight to maintain its hunting ground. But he is also a doting parent, a loving mate, and a loyal friend. He will only fight you if you corner him. The ones that attack without provocation are always the crazy ones." He glared at the camera for a moment. I thought he did a great impersonation of a crazy man. He went on. "When the white man killed off the wolves, bad things started to happen." He brought his clenched fists into the screen and spread his fingers slowly, "Like ripples. Everything is connected. It took a long long time to get it right again." He said nothing for a moment, then nodded and left the screen.

"_Ok_, they can talk!" Jan whispered, entranced.

***

We were driving to a place where we suspected another human group was in hiding. I kept thinking about Flynt.

"I was kind of surprised that your dad agreed to talk," I said finally, "He didn't really seem like he was keen on the whole Soul thing."

"My father's just not big on trust, on change of any kind really," Alex replied, "He has had a pretty hard time of it. Losing my birth mother, then me…" he shook his head, "His life has never been easy. He has a lot of anger inside. When he first got me back, he was so angry at my foster parents for so long. He wouldn't let them see me. They were so upset."

"That must have been hard on you?"

"Yeah, they were the only life I knew," he said softly. "My father figured I had a lot of catching up to do, and didn't have time for bad influences like my foster parents."

"Did you ever see them again?" I asked. He shook his head.

"They were taken pretty early on in the piece," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"Well, everyone's lost someone. I think Dad felt kind of bad about that too. That he'd kept me from them like he had been kept from me. It didn't make it any easier for him to accept the Souls. That's why he's a bit… odd around you. I think he found it hard to see beyond your eyes. Your history."

"But he took me to Edith and George's place," I said.

"Yeah, well, that did take a little bit of doing," he smiled, "But I think he didn't want to see any more families split up. He could see the human in you too."

I frowned absently, fretting at a loose thread in the leather. I wondered how much of me was human and how much was Soul.


	14. Chapter 14 Taken Away

**Taken away**

***

We left a desert group that was closer to the cities til last. It had a reputation for ruthlessness. I uploaded all the new footage to Jan before we set out to tackle them. We camped in a narrow valley that cut into a steep hillside, ending in a little round canyon with bare rock walls. A spring seeped to the surface halfway down the valley, constantly replenishing a beautiful pool. The pool was emptied to the side by a surprising large waterfall, splashing into another pool below. The water was beautiful for swimming in , especially as the desert heat cooked up the days. Bhask was constantly running off for a swim. He was inexhaustible and consequently ate like a wolverine.

"I'm going for a swim!" Bhask yelled, running down to the pool, his red shirt visible through the trees long after the rest of him had been absorbed by the landscape. The day was oppressively hot like all the others. The heat sucked the stuffing out of the grass, which drooped parched and skeletal over the bare earth.

I pottered about camp for a while, but the heat sapped at my strength and I lay down in some shade at the base of the cliff, under an overhanging rock.

***

I was woken by a scream and the thick smell of smoke. I lay still listening, letting reality chase away the fog of my dreams, but there were no more sounds save a distant low crackling. Something was wrong. I scanned the campsite. The sunlight was a strange sickly yellow, and the smell of charcoal hung in the air. Bhaskar was not back. I sat up and scanned again. Definitely not back. That scream!

I leapt up and ran down the valley, eyes gritty with smoke. The day seemed to be getting darker and hotter at the same time. _Where was Bhaskar_?

I reached the empty pool and skirted around its inside edge, looking everywhere. He had said he was swimming. Where was he? My stomach was tight with panic.

Something red waved at me in the shallows. I waded in and grabbed it. Bhaskar's shoe! I stood still, suddenly noticing a mass of footprints at the water's edge, a growing sense of dread feeding my panic. Large, adult, booted footprints. I followed them slowly, keeping to the water, feeling the pull of the current closer to the edge. I climbed out onto the rocks by the edge, and I saw him.

In the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, red shirt and white socks shining like a beacon, dark hair swinging in the wavelets, floating face down. The world tilted and I fell to my knees. His small body bobbed limply with the wash from the waterfall. _Get up! Get up! _I prayed, but he didn't move. My vision was being dissolved by tears. My chest felt clutched in a tiny fist.

Then a long white pole stretched out and pulled at him. I followed it with uncomprehending eyes to the water's edge. People in neat, clean clothes, gathered on the shore. The sickly grey sunlight glinted off their holsters. _Seekers_.

Suddenly I understood. They had found him. He had run, and they had chased. I had always told him never to run… but he had run. He had cut through the pool, getting too close to the edge, been sucked into the current…

The pole brought his body to the water's edge, and the Seekers hauled him onto the land, checked at his neck, his chest, and sat back, shaking their heads.

"No!" I screamed, but they didn't move. "No! No!" This was not possible. This was not happening. They lifted him onto a stretcher and tucked a white sheet over him. A corner flapped in the hot, dry wind. A car was being backed up to the pool, they lifted the stretcher. They were taking him!

"No!" I screamed at them, but if anything they only worked faster, glancing up the slope worriedly. I became aware of heat like an oven at my back, and that the crackling noise had grown to a roar. The wind whipped at my hair, dragging it over my face. Tearing my eyes off his body, I span around. The world was on fire! Everything from the grasses to the bushes to the trees was covered in flame. I slithered back into the water, crawling around to the opposite edge to get as far away as I could, sobbing and coughing at once. But the flames had licked around the cliff faces, spread rapidly in the grasses on the other side. I would be trapped.

I ran madly for the safety of the campsite, but the fire seemed to be able to keep just ahead of me, leaping from bush to bush up the valley. My shoes still squelched with water but my pants were burning dry, then smoking. Brushing past a bush as it burst into flame, my pants caught as well. I slapped at the burning on my legs and finally dashed into the campsite. I grabbed my pack and slithered under the shallow overhang, stuffing the pack in front of my face to shield me from the heat of the flames. I couldn't get enough air no matter how I sucked and gasped, every breath cut short with coughing. The world began to grow distant and dark, until complete blackness descended.

***

My eyes slowly opened onto a world in semi darkness. They felt rough and gritty and stung like little needles pierced them. I tried to draw a breath and was wiped out by a fit of coughing grating my raw throat. Pain shot up my legs, dragged over rock by my racking cough. Were they burning still? I tried to sit up between coughs to look at them, and felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Lie down," I heard Alex say quietly, though his face was but a grey blur in my sight.

"My legs!" I croaked hoarsely, fighting him.

"Sh, I know," he said, holding a bottle of water to my lips. I relaxed and lay down as the water cooled my mouth. _Water_…

"Alex," I said, fighting the pain, "Bhaskar, Bhaskar is-"

"I know," he said, his voice broken and indescribably sad. I wept helplessly.

***

When I opened my eyes again, I could see Alex sitting slumped in front of me in a grey semi-light. It must be morning. His hair was growing long and falling into his eyes, like Bhask's. A twinge of pain sank through me. I reached out to touch him and he woke with a jerk.

"You should sleep properly," I rasped softly. He handed me the water bottle and some No Pain. As I drank I heard water tinkling and felt the coolness of a wet cloth of my skin, gently dabbing. He said nothing. I noticed my gun in his lap, and reached for it. He caught my hand and shook his head.

"The clip's in!" I whispered. There was no way to talk without hurting my throat. Was my No Pain no good?

"Just lie still," he murmured, and I obeyed, perplexed. Then I looked around the cave.

I was lying against one wall, and all around us were the forms of humans. Some were rising from their slumber, and all their eyes were filled with hate, and glared at me.

One started creeping towards us, knife drawn.

"Alex!" I hissed, and he had spun around, gun aimed at the figure, before I could blink.

"Back. Off." Alex growled, his face furious but stoney.

"You can't guard it forever," the figure spat, and slowly walked back to his group.

I stared at Alex with horrible understanding. Cold fear dripped through me.

"The fire took a lot of people," he murmured.

"They blame me?" I whispered incredulously. The world seemed to retreat to a hazy grey distance.

"Someone lit it. They know there were Seekers around. They see you as one of them," he said softly. I was horrified.

"That fire took my son! The Seekers-" I croaked loudly, my mind whirling. Souls would not do that. It was inhuman. They could not… Alex grabbed my wrists and pushed me back down with the weight of his body.

"I need you to be quiet for me, ok?" he whispered urgently in my ear, caressing my hair. And I turned away, sobbing as quietly as I could.

***

A heavy weight hitting my stomach with a grunt woke me next. It was Alex, his back shoving into my belly, his legs sprawled out in front of him, one arm cradling the other. A vicious silver knife protruded from his forearm. He struggled to his feet, kicking the gun over to me. I held it up to the attacker, but my hand shook no matter how I willed it to be still. There were gasps from the other humans and I felt all eyes on us in the dim light. Alex looked haggard, but determination steeled his features still. He gripped the knife's handle and pulled it from his arm with a bark of pain. Blood welled up and dripped down his hand. He held the knife in a fighting grip, still poised ready to attack. The attacker backed off. I dropped the gun.

"Alex!" I hissed as he stood swaying in front of me. He turned and fell to his knees before me. His eyes were glazed and distant. He grunted as I grabbed his arm, trying to stem the blood.

"Take off your shirt," I rasped, "help me tear it." I wiped my tears angrily on my shoulder. This was no time for crying. I bound the wound tightly, forced some No Pain in his mouth and the water in his good hand, and clamped my hands around his arm again. He sat quietly for some time, as I sniffed and wiped at my cheeks awkwardly, glancing round the other humans as my terror sank into a hard ball of fear in my belly. We were both covered in soot, drained, exhausted from trying to keep it together through grief, pain, and fear. Eventually I lifted my hands a fraction to check his arm. Blood had oozed through the bandage a little, but the bleeding had slowed, and its edges were crusty and drying. I pressed down on it again and Alex winced.

"We don't have any Heal?" I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I used the last of it on your hands," he said.

"I have to get out of here," I whispered, shaking my head.

"Flame, your legs-" Alex started, still sounding a little distant.

"My feet are fine. I have the No Pain, I can walk," I said, jaw clenched, "I can't stay here. We'll both be killed." Alex's eyes were filled with pain. I eased the pressure off his bandaged, feeling guilty.

"No," Alex moaned.

"Will they hurt you, if I'm not here?" I asked. He was shaking his head.

"Flame-"

"Will they hurt you, if I'm not here?" I repeated firmly, staring him down. He was the first to look away.

"No," he murmured.

"You can't keep them all away," I said softly, "I have to go." I hated to leave him. But staying wouldn't help either of us. And if he left he would be caught in no time. There would be nowhere to hide and no way to hide your trail.

"The car is gone," he pleaded, "You can't just _walk…_" but I sensed defeat in his voice.

"_I have to go_," I said, "I won't have to walk for long. My tracks will show up really well in the soot, they'll spot me really quick," I continued. He said nothing.

"They won't hurt me," I said softly, "I'm one of them." He could not look at me.

"I'll get another car, I'll, I'll come back and get you-"

"No," he was shaking his head. "The rains are not long off. We'll be able to move around unnoticed then. I'll get my own car," he smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll meet you back at Dorsey's." His sad smile reminded me so much of Bhaskar. I couldn't speak. I forced myself to be strong.

"Ok," I said, not looking at him, dividing the No Pain between us, taking a double dose straight away, "Tell me which way to get out."

"Your gun," he said, and I pushed it back to him.

"You can cover me, give me a head start." I couldn't bear to look at his eyes. He hugged me fiercely, but I was wooden in his arms. I _had_ to be strong. He pointed down a dark passage. I kissed his head quickly and left him in the darkness.


	15. Chapter 15 Healing

**Healing**

***

The sun was unbearably hot on my burns. My slow progress through the burnt land raised a small cloud of ash around me, covering my skin and mouth in a fine lace of dust. My sweat traced strange rivers through it, letting the angry red of my burns shine through. My breath, rasping in and out, was the only sound in the world. My whole being was tied up in taking one step after another, forcing my legs to drive through the pain, to keep me upright, to get me to safety. I could not think beyond that.

So it was a while before I saw the blur ahead for what it was. A car, driving towards me, a huge cloud of ash billowing in its wake. For a terrible, crazy moment I thought it was the humans, coming to get me. But I knew they were not so foolhardy. I stood still and concentrated on breathing. I was faintly aware of the car stopping, people getting out, voices. But the world was more and more distant, I felt like I was floating away. I knew by the sudden feel of the ground on my cheek that I had collapsed.

"Bhaskar!" I whispered, and wept.

***

The Healers made short work of my burns. But I stayed in the Healing Centre because they were concerned about my mental state. I knew this, and hated it, but at the same time, couldn't care less. Bhaskar was gone.

"Can you tell me about him?" my comforter asked. She had the most lovely red hair. I could gaze at it all day. I sighed and tried to dig up the effort necessary to answer.

"He was the greatest kid. You know he made me a cheese sandwich once? He must have been about 5. He loved cheese." I said. She smiled. Sincerely. Had it taken his death for people to see him clearly? Maybe she just was nice. She visited every day, and just let me talk.

At first, I could do nothing but try not to go pieces when she said his name. She waited for me, then leaned over and whispered.

"You don't have to be strong anymore, you know."

It got easier after that. Little by little I let go and rejoined the world. But often I would dream of him.

"Where are you?" he would say, and I wouldn't be able to speak. "Don't leave me!"he would call, and I would wake up crying again.

We buried him in the hot desert sands, a short grave. The desert stretched out around him, surrounding him with its bleak heat, so different from the grasslands where he had found his home, if only briefly. I wished so hard that his human family could have been here too.

***

Jan took some time off and came down to work on the human voice project. We had enough material now for a few tv segments, and were busy organizing and doing the voice-overs to link the different parts.

"It'll go to air in a few months," Jan said, grinning with excitement. I tried to smile back. I turned back to the screen.

"I don't know what to say," the woman on the screen said, "What should I say?"

"Just tell them about yourself," Alex's voice came from off camera, "how you got here, your hopes for the future..."

"Oh, ok..."

His voice made me shrink tightly inside, curling around the fear that I wouldn't see him again, intertwining with my grief for Bhask and my memories of them both together. I tried to rise above it, keep my head clear of these emotions that threatened to drown me.

"Don't start a war with us" a man said menacingly in another take.

"We're already _at_ war, stupid!" came a voice off camera.

"Shut up!" the man hissed to the side, then continued, looking into the camera.

"Don't fight us, we've got a lot of experience in fighting." He looked behind the camera again. "That's it," he finished, and left.

"Sarah, if you're out there, I love you so much baby!" another said, eyes bright with tears, "I love you! Oh God..."

"Just… Just leave us alone. Why can't you leave us alone?" There was the sound of a helicopter flying distantly over head, and the young man on the screen flinched, staring upwards, eyes round with fear.

"This is great stuff," Jan whispered, gazing at the footage.

"It's not too… frightening? Off putting?"

"People need to be frightened a bit," she shrugged, "We'll mix it up a bit." She fast forwarded to a new section.

"When the invaders, the souls, first came, it was really scary. We had to go away. I thought they were, like, monsters," a young girl said, "But when Flame came here, I saw she was just like us. Sort of. Another mummy. I hope Bhaskar gets better soon Flame." She blew a kiss, waved, and skipped off screen. My mouth opened by itself, my eyes filled with tears. Then I recognized Dorsey's face.

"I'm not much good at talking," Dorsey was saying shyly, "I thought I'd dance instead." A drum started off camera, a regular pounding beat. She closed her eyes, raised her arms slowly, and began to dance.


	16. Chapter 16 Home

AN: Sorry the ending is short - I'm not much good at endings! But the sequel is on its way, so its not a real ending anyway :) Any ideas on how to fix the ending up much appreciated :D

**Home**

*******

I was sitting in a field of grass, alone. I waited. The sun was high above me, warming my neck and shoulders, bathing the grasslands in a golden light. I thought about the first time I had come here, how all I had seen were anonymous grass and trees. It meant so much more to me now. It was home.

I pictured Bhask running in the grass, playing hide and seek in the forest, that terrible dark winter when he was sick…

I knew they would be coming for me. The Scouts would have spotted me, the runners speeding the message to the others. All I had to do was wait.

Slowly, smiling, I closed my eyes. I could hear the wind whispering through the prairie grass, carrying the scent of crushed dry herbs to me, caressing my cheek, lifting my hair. I could feel the stubble of grass, small rocks, the smooth hard ground and its cracks beneath my feet. The sound of crickets calling in the grass, some near, some far, the whirr as they fluttered from grass clump to grass clump. A distant bird – a bird of prey - shrieking in the sky.

When I opened my eyes again, I could see them walking single file down the slope to meet me.

George, getting stooped but still moving freely, feet falling surely amongst the grass clumps.

Dorsey, always graceful, moving like the wind through grass, but keeping a respectful pace behind George.

And Alex.

I smiled, and waited.


End file.
